


Tomorrow comes after Yesterday

by StrawberryBasketCase



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Dark and twisted theme, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Smut, Humor, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9449018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryBasketCase/pseuds/StrawberryBasketCase
Summary: Josh needed to feel loved.Joshie needed to feel protected.Spooky Jim needed to feel vengeance.Tyler needed to save them all.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heya peoples fic number eight! And to make it better its a JOSHLER fic!
> 
> Yay me! More people might read it now! And that's not to say I dont have readers because I'm thankful for the few I got (200 is redonkulous lol!)
> 
> Anyhoo this story was inspired by the Artic Monkeys song called 'Old Yellow Bricks' in honor of Josh's cool and cute yellow hair dye. But then my craziness took over and created this...umm masterpiece???  
> Look I know I'm depressive and twisted just go along for the ride okay?
> 
> Warning: murder and rape in this chapie (don't hate me too much) so be careful.
> 
> Okay and Enjoy

“Josh.”

Josh just rolled his head from left to right. His eyes were closed. As he sat on their bed.

“Josh.”

Josh didn't respond as he began to sway from left to right. He was in a mind state and everything in the present was fading. He tipped his head back and opened his eyes. The ceiling expanded upward until it broke. As it crumbled, the sky turned dust. Trees sprouted from the floor until Josh was deep in a forest.

“Joshie honey don't run off too far.” Josh’s mother called through the thick trees. Him and his parents were on their annual summer camping trip.

“Don’t worry mom, I won't be long.” Josh yelled back. He was twelve now so he felt he was nearly an adult. She could let up on the reins a bit. He was only collecting lightening bugs. Josh wanted to take them home to show his best friend Tyler. They weren't speaking at the moment, but Josh thought that by the time he got back home that they would stop being mad. Friends fight, but they always come back. So Josh tried extra hard to make sure he got a ton of bugs for Tyler. That way he couldn't be upset anymore and they can enjoy watching them fly and light up the sky like stars.

“Nooooo!” Josh heard his mother yelled in the distance. It scared him, but he needed to get back to camp fast. Josh ran through the dark when his neck was suddenly grabbed from behind. His breath was beyond him as a strong arm wrapped around his throat.

“Stop, let me go!” Josh gasped as he tried to fight against the strong hold. 

“Yeah I like em feisty.” The man replied as he laughed. He carried Josh’s small frame by his neck. Josh grunted and groaned as he continued to fight. They seemed to be headed towards his family camp. He was horrified when they made it. His parents were hog tied and cut up.

“Daddy, Mommy!” Josh cried as he watched another man appear laughing. He drank from a large liquor bottle as he circled his parents. He carried a large shotgun.

“Let him go! We’ll give you whatever you want!” Josh’s father pleaded.

“Anything? Well I kinda fancy the boy. He's got a pretty face.” The strange man giggled as he licked Josh’s face. Josh felt sick and he just wanted these bad men to go away.

“Please don't hurt my baby!” His mother begged. She was pretty banged up with bruises and dirt. Her clothes were torn and hair a mess.

“Shut up bitch!” The other man growled as he kicked her in the stomach. She screamed in pain. “What should we do with em Jack?” the man called to the one holding Josh. Jack just grinned from ear to ear.

“Kill them both, I got my prize right here!” Jack said happily as he began to grope him. Josh cried at his touch as he fought to breathe through the tight headlock he was in. The other man laughed hard as he pointed his shotgun to the back of his parents heads. He shot them each execution style. Josh screamed as the pops of the gun sprayed their blood on him.

“Mommy! Daddy!” Josh cried as he watched the man set their bodies in flames. Fire devoured everything.

“Josh.” Tyler said.

“Fire everywhere.” Josh mumbled as his head fell into his chest. Tears stained his cheeks.

“Josh please baby come back to me.” Tyler pleaded as he held his face in his hands. He kneeled in front of him. Josh would become unresponsive on spur of the moment. Josh’s eyes faded to black as his pupils turned fiery red.

“My name is Spooky Jim Tyler.” Spooky growled as he lifted his head. His eyes burned into Tyler. Tyler merely let his hands fall as he leaned back on his heels.

“I-I'm sorry Spooky.” Tyler replied as he stood up. He turned to leave the bedroom trying to avoid his eyes.Spooky snatched his arm to stop him.

“Where do you think you’re going!” He yelled. He always seemed to be angry.

“I-I j-just wanted to go make us some din-” Tyler tried to explain before Spooky yanked him closer to him.

“You’re lying! You wanted to leave me!” Spooky accused as his grip got tighter on his arm.

“N-no Spooky I-I wouldn't leave you, please you’re hurting me.” Tyler squeaked as tears began to form. Spooky always scared Tyler.

“I hate you Tyler! You left me before so why should I believe anything you say now!” Spooky yelled as he threw Tyler against the wall. He pinned his hands on either side of his head.

“I'm sorry Josh, we were kids! Please I'm so sorry!” Tyler pleaded as the tears flowed heavily.

“Shut up! You can lie to him, but not to me!” He roared as he slapped him hard. Tyler cried hard as blood dripped from his mouth.

“B-but I love you spooky.” Tyler said barely louder than a whisper as his head dropped. Spooky lifted his head as he glared at him with those deadly red eyes.

“Then show me.” Spooky replied before he crashed their lips together. The kiss was more teeth than anything.

“Please not this. Spooky believe me I-” Tyler begged as Spooky grabbed his throat.

“I don't trust your words. Only actions speak volumes.” Spooky said as he began to pull his and Tyler’s pants down. Tyler cried as he tried to claw off the tight hold on his neck. Spooky slammed his head against the wall to get him to stop. He then pinned the smaller man’s hands above his head as he lined up with his entrance.

“Spooky please!” Tyler screamed as he rammed inside. The pain may him cry out as Spooky thrusted hard into him. He gripped his thigh tight as he raised his leg over his hip for better access.

“Stop please!” Tyler screamed as he was continually rammed. Spooky buried his face in his neck as he grunted at each thrust. Tyler’s vision blurred with tears as blood and saliva ran from his mouth. He panted as he screams went unheard. He was powerless to stop this brutal assault. Spooky then plowed into his prostate head on and it felt intense. Tyler soon came exploding white between them.

“Look how much you love me Tyler.” Spooky panted as he continued. He was referring to his cum that started to run down their shirts. Tyler merely cried as he only wanted it over with. Spooky called out Tyler’s name as he came hard inside him. They sat there as he came down from his high. Spooky let Tyler fall to the floor into a crying heap. Tyler just cried hard into his hands as his body ached. Spooky just towered over him and looking.

“Let’s get you cleaned up Tyler.” Spooky said as he scooped Tyler up bridal style. He carried him to the bathroom. Tyler’s cries had died down to sniffles. He sat Tyler on the toilet while he ran them a hot bubble bath. Spooky stripped them of their dirty shirts and carried Tyler in the bath.

They sat in the hot soothing water among millions of tiny bubbles. Spooky didn't care much for them, but he knew Tyler enjoyed the bubbles. They didn't talk for what seemed like hours. Spooky rested Tyler on his chest as he messaged his sore head.

“Tyler I'm sorry, but I can't take this anger all the time. It feels like it's going to burn me alive.”Spooky said as he broke the silence.

“Don't be, I love you. I will free you from this hell fire Spooky baby.” Tyler said as the tears began to fall again. He hated seeing him in so much pain. Even though he’s violated him multiple times, he couldn't hate him. He thought of it as his punishment for not saving him all those years ago. But he wouldn't stop until he rescued his lover from these lingering demons now.

“Thanks Tyler. I still hate you, but I love you more.” Spooky said as he held him close and kissed his scalp. His bruises will heal, while Spooky remained tormented by his anger. So Tyler would gladly be his punching bag to help relieve some of the pressure.

“I know Spooky, I know.” Tyler said as tears came faster. Tyler turned to kiss his chest right over his heart. A heart that beat so strongly for Tyler and he’d keep it that way. No matter what.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even simple words could trigger Josh. But after his mistake, Tyler knows how to fix the problem. He's always ready to save his Joshie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya next chapie! And wow I never expected so many hits just off the first chapter and all in one day! Thanks a million guys!
> 
> Sidenote: I don't know why but everytime I think of hits, I imagine you guys all lining up to punch me while I thank you for reading??? LMAO I know just a weird thought.
> 
>  
> 
> Well warning time. It's another violent scene in this, but at least I tried to keep it brief.
> 
> Enjoy!

“Hey Ty what you wanna do today?” Josh asked as he came into the kitchen. Tyler was cleaning after breakfast.

“I don't know, whatever you want babe. But first take your meds okay?” Tyler said as he turned around with his pill bottles. He always tried to ask him, so not to upset him. Once he tried to force him and Spooky beat the crap of him. That was a bad day and Tyler didn't want a repeat.

“But I'm having a good day Ty, can't I just skip em?” Josh asked as he crossed his arms in a slight protest. Here we go again. Well Tyler knew he had to play it cool.

“Come on Josh, you know the doctor said to take them everyday even when you’re feeling good remember?” Tyler explained as he walked closer with his pills. He tried to keep a smile as to not start an argument. They sat there in a silent debate as he held out the meds for him to take. Josh soon gave in and just took his medicine. “That's a good boy.” Tyler giggled.

“Yeah open your mouth like a good boy.” Jack laughed.

“No!” Josh screamed as he started pulling his hair hard.

“Josh what's wrong!? Come on talk to me!?” Tyler pleaded as he tried to pry his hands out of his hair. Josh’s eyes were already glazed over. It was too late to pull him out without some major damage to him, Tyler, or both. The room grew dark and the walls turned to steel. He was back in that horrible place with HIM. It reeked of booze, cigarettes, and sex. They would take turns on Josh, but Jack owned him.

“I love your hair cause it's a perfect length for pulling!” Jack laughed hard as he yanked Josh from the floor.

“Please stop!” Josh screamed as he tried to get his hands off of him.

“Shut up!” Jack yelled as he backhanded Josh hard. He fell to the floor. “ I am your master and you will obey me or I'll kill you! You understand me pet!?” He spat above him as he was ready for another blow.

“Y-yes m-master.” Josh cried as he cowered away from his hand.

“Good boy now come and sit on daddy’s lap.”Jack joked as he sat on the bed. Josh slowly got up and moved towards him as he undid his pants. “Now show me how much you love me Joshie.” He whispered in his ear. Josh was only allowed to wear dresses with nothing underneath. Easy access for his masters, plus they thought he looked pretty.

Jack eased Josh on top of him. After so long he was able to fit the grown man all the way inside him. Josh cried each time and each time he was slapped or just roughed up to shut up and enjoy it. This was his fate for months and Josh feared that he’d never be rescued.

“Yeah you’re so tight like a good little whore.” Jack said as he went faster. Soon he flipped them on the bed as he rammed inside. 

“P-please…” Josh whimpered at the pain. He tried to push him off.

“Stop fighting!” Jack yelled as he pinned his arms above his head. “I know you like it so stop pretending.” He whispered in his ear as he began to jerk Josh off in time with his thrust. Josh cried harder to stop as they kept going. Soon they both came and Josh felt so ashamed. He actually liked that monster’s hands all over him enough to release. “Sleep tight pretty boy.” Jack kissed him goodnight before he left him. Josh wore a chain around his ankle that connected to a spot on the floor. It only permitted limited movement so he couldn't leave that room, freely of course.

“Josh! Please wake up!” Tyler cried as he held him in his lap. Josh had collapsed shortly after trying to pull his hair out from the roots.

“Ty Ty? What happened my head kinda hurts.” Josh whined as he sat up. His dyed hair had reverted back to his normal brown color.

“Y-you j-just hit your head Joshie.” Tyler stuttered as he wiped his face. 

“Oh please don't cry Ty Ty you know I'm just clumsy is all.” Joshie giggled as he rubbed his hurt head. “No more tears okay?” He hugged him tight.

“Yeah sorry Joshie you just scared me.” Tyler lied well partly because he was scared when he blacked out. But he also cried because Josh was having a good morning and with a slip of words he ended up as his twelve year old self. Tyler hugged him tight so he wouldn't upset him. Joshie was so fragile and even a mean look could reduce him to tears. “Hey I know the perfect cure for a hurt head.” Tyler suggested.

“What is it, tell me!?” Joshie bounced excited to hear.

“Some ice cream in the park.” Tyler smiled as he loved his excitement. “And then we could go to the amusement park, how's that sound?” He added.

“Really! That sound great Ty Ty! Let’s go now!” Joshie yelled as he yanked them from the floor. He laughed as he rushed to the door.

“Wait Joshie, we need to get dressed first. We can't go out in our pajamas now can we?” Tyler joked. He then stopped and looked down at their night clothes.

“Hehe yeah that’ll be kinda silly. So first change then we have some awesome fun!” Joshie said happily as he ran to their bedroom. Tyler just stood there smiling as he remembered how happy they were as kids. Before that horrible event that turned his best friend and lover into these three hurt personalities. “Come on Ty Ty or you won't get any ice cream!” Joshie called from the other room.

“How’s that when I'm the one paying!” Tyler joked as he walked to the room. He laughed as he saw that Joshie had literally thrown on blue shorts with green leggings, a red shirt and orange shoes. “Dude you’re going out like that?” Tyler laughed as he picked up his thrown pajamas off the floor.

“Yeah is there a problem?” Joshie huffed as he crossed his arms and pouted . Boy was he cute when he was upset.

“No it's just….colorful is all.” Tyler said as a sideways compliment.

“Well I like color…...it keeps the dark away.” Joshie whined as tears started to form. Tyler quickly hugged him.

“Don't worry I love you in any and all colors Joshie.”Tyler kissed his forehead. His tears always broke his heart. “Now no crying cause it's gonna be a fun day remember?” He added as he awaited for him to answer.

“Yeah I remember. And you wear a lot of color too Ty Ty. That way the dark won't take you either!” Joshie told him as ran to the closet to find him some clothes. He came out with a yellow hoodie, red pants, and a green shirt. “Here wear this and I got you a hoodie cause I know you get colder than me.” He happily handed over the clothes. Tyler just laughed and got dressed.

They soon left and got a few weird looks, but they didn't bother them. Tyler would gladly dress up like a clown if it was to keep a smile on the greatest person in the world. The only person that ever mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww you gotta love Joshie. He's so smol you just gotta hug him. Lol
> 
> Well at least I ended on a happy note this time. So maybe in time I could probably write an entire happy story! Well someday anyway cause I'm a sucker for the sad stuff lol.
> 
> Again comments before the next chapie please. Maybe any ideas you wanna see. I'm pretty flexible.
> 
> Seeya in another time, in another place!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Tyler pay the good Dr. Jenna Black a visit. Things don't go as plan when she suspects the boys are hiding something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya people! Chapie three! Yay me!!!
> 
> First off let me thank all of you for getting this fic in the 200 range for hits in such a short time! That is wild!! (pete wentz voice lol)  
> Sadly I still think of hits as you guys punching me lol, but you know what it sure is a good feeling to get over 200 hits! Yeah I know I got issues.
> 
> Also I don't know why but I made Jenna a therapist in this story too. Lol she just seems like she'd be great at helping people with their problems. So sue me.
> 
> Anyhoo enjoy!

“So Josh how was your week?” Dr. Black asked as she began writing a few notes.

“Umm well…” Josh merely bit his lip as he was at a lost for words to even begin describe his week. Tyler just put his hand on his lap to reassure him of his presence.

“So a few episodes I see.” She piped up calmly. “It's alright Josh no need to be afraid. I'm only here to help. I'm your friend too okay?” Dr. Black added with a smile.

“O-okay…” Josh mumbled with a smirk as he held on to Tyler’s hand. He knew he wouldn't be able to get through this without Tyler by his side.

“Good. Now tell me when was the last episode and what happened?” She asked as she eyed him carefully. Her stare always made him squirm. Like he did something wrong and she was judging him for it.

“W-well it was last night and I-I don't really remember much of what happened sorry.” Josh stated nervously.

“Maybe Tyler can fill us in then.” She said awaiting an answer.

“B-but this doesn't have anything to do with him. I mean he’s just here for moral support. It's my therapy session.” Josh explained as his anxiety began to rise.

“I know Josh, but I wanna know what Tyler knows. I mean he’s awake during your spells so he can give me insight to what happens during the blackouts.” Dr. Black countered. Josh began to breathe fast and Tyler didn't like it.

“Umm Josh seems to want to talk to you alone so I think I'll just sit this one out today.” Tyler said as he got up to leave. Dr. Black followed him to the door. Josh felt like he couldn't breath, he was so nervous.

“Tyler hold on, I think you got something on your face.” She stated as she casually held the door closed. Tyler gritted his teeth because he really wanted to leave.

“I'm sure I can get it once you let me-” Tyler tried.

“Nonsense I can get that now.” Dr. Black insisted as she wiped her thumb over his left eye. “Well that's quite the shiner you got there. Care to tell me where you got it Tyler? She asked as she rubbed the concealer between her fingers. He winced when she held his face.

“I fell. It’s nothing serious.” Tyler replied blankly. Josh started to shake.

“Well I would go for that, but I can clearly see the fist print. So who hit you Tyler?” She asked again.

“Nobody hit me. I told you I fell.” Tyler repeated slowly as his anger was rising. Josh began to whimper as he put his hands over his ears. He started rocking to try and calm himself.

“If you fell then why you try to hide-”

“It was me! I hit him okay! But it was an accident! Please I-I didn't mean it!” Josh exclaimed as he stood up. They turned around to see him crying his eyes out. “Please Ty ty tell her I didn't mean it! I don't wanna go away!” He pleaded as he curled into a ball on the couch. Tyler ran to console him.

“Oh Josh she knows you didn't do it on purpose. Please don't cry.” Tyler told him calmly as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was beginning to fade back to his original color. He knew Joshie was taking over now and he couldn't stop it. Tyler held him close until his cries died down. Dr. Black hated to be so direct, but in order to treat him she had to know the truth.

“I'm sorry Joshie I didn't mean to get you upset. I just needed to know who hurt Tyler.” She said as she kneeled down in front of them. “I promise I won't send you anywhere, now can you please tell me who did that to Tyler?” She asked.

“I-it was spooky that hit him….I cried for him to stop because Ty ty would never hurt us but he wouldn't listen! He just kept punching him harder and harder!” Joshie cried as he buried his face into Tyler’s neck. He merely rubbed his back and hummed to get him to relax.

“It's okay Joshie. It's all over now. I'm alright and spooky won't get you I promise.” Tyler reassured him. Dr. Black just observed the two interact.

“Hey Joshie will it be alright if I talk to Tyler outside. We’re gonna be on my balcony so you can see us clearly from my big window over there. And for being a good boy and telling me the truth, you can have some candy from my desk while we talk okay?” She smiled as he piped up at the mention of sweets. She sat him down at her desk where he had a good view of them so he wouldn't get scared. Tyler looked nervous to leave him, but followed the doctor anyway. She closed the door and turned to Tyler. “Now Tyler I feel that-”

“No! I won't put him away! I love him too much to do that.” Tyler protested before she could even get the words out. He felt like he had abandoned him once and he be damn if he did it again.

“Fine, but I only want what's best for -” She tried.

“I am what's best for him!” Tyler interrupted again. He had his mind made up.

“I want what's best for BOTH of you Tyler. Now if you’re through interrupting me let me finish.” She huffed as Tyler remained silent. “Look, I'm far from stupid and I know this isn't the first time spooky has hurt you. Hell he nearly hit me the few times I spoke with him. He's angry with you for not saving him from what happened but he also battles with how much he loves you. While I know it isn't Josh’s fault that still makes him a danger to you.” Dr. Black explained. Tyler was about to object. “And don't think I don't understand why you let it go on. Tyler you can't blame yourself for what happened! And being a willing punching bag isn't helping either of you!” She added.

“But I should've been there to protect him!” Tyler yelled as he started pacing.

“How Tyler? You both were kids! For all you know those bad men could've easily killed your parents and kidnapped you both! Then what!?” She yelled back. 

“I don't know!” Tyler screamed. “I-I don't know...but I know I love him so maybe he wouldn't be so messed up now if I had been there with him.” He cried as he watched Joshie laugh as he ate candy and play with the pens on her desk. “I’d do anything for him….but please don't ask me to send him away to some hospital. I can't let him go...not again” Tyler pleaded as he turned with tears streaming down his face. She could see the desperation in his eyes.

“Fine he can stay at home with you, but I will prescribe him some more meds to mellow out spooky jim a bit alright?” Dr. Black sighed.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” Tyler said as he hugged her. He knew that she had the power to send Josh away if she really wanted to. Yet she believed in him enough to let them stay together.

“Don't mention it.” She replied as she hugged him back. They heard a knock from the glass. It was a sad looking Joshie wanting attention. “You better get in there before he starts whining.” She joked.

“Yeah, but I think he wants more candy doctor.” Tyler laughed as he saw the chocolate covering his face. They went inside to find that Joshie had ate all her candy and gotten himself a stomachache.

“Well you better take Joshie home to rest.” Dr. Black said as she rubbed his hurt tummy. They got up to leave.

“Sorry that I ate all of your candy miss Dr. Black.” Joshie said sullenly.

“Who do you think I buy for? Trust me I don't need the calories.” She joked as she dumped the empty wrappers off her desk. Joshie instantly smiled and ran to give her a hug.

“Thank you for being so nice to me! You remind me of my mommy….I know she would've loved to meet you.” Joshie said cheerfully. Dr. Black felt her heart break at how both sweet and sad that was. Tyler could tell it got to her as they traded glances.

“Oh that's the sweetest thing you could’ve said to me. Thank you so much Joshie.” She said as she hugged him back. She could feel the tears about to fall.

“See you next week doctor.” Joshie waved as they left hand in hand. Tyler had mouthed a silent thank you again to her on their way out.

“See you too Joshie!” Dr. Black replied happily as she gave a wink to Tyler. She sat down at her desk as she wiped her tears away. “Maybe they can heal each other in time.” She smiled to herself at the thought while popping a reese's’ mini in her mouth from her secret stash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup I really liked this chapie cause Jenna don't play, but she still has a heart.
> 
> Also who else got a little teary eyed when Joshie said Jenna was like his mommy? Be honest. I'll wait. Lol
> 
> Comments keep me going thanks in advance.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The deeper Josh slips between reality and the dark corners of his mind. The more dangerous it is for both him and Tyler. 
> 
> Especially when Spooky Jim's involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys and gals! I've been meaning to post this last week, but depressing thoughts got in the way. Sorry.
> 
> Well I'm trying to keep it interesting for you guys especially since I got over 300 hits!!! I'm super happy thanks a million!!
> 
> Enjoy!

It was late at night as the rain pounded against the windows. Lightning flashed in the dark room when a loud boom rattled the walls.

“Josh?” Tyler mumbled as he awoke to find an empty bed. “Josh where are you?” He started to panic when he didn't get an answer. The last time Tyler woke to an empty bed he had to search the neighborhood for him. That was one of the most scariest nights in his life and he didn't want a repeat.

Tyler jumped from the bed and ran to search the house. “Baby? Baby are you in here!?” he called as his anxiety started to rise. Tyler checked the bathroom. Nothing there. He searched the kitchen. Wrong again. He sighed in relief when he saw Josh sitting on the floor in the living room. He was staring out the window at the rain. “Josh don't scare me like that! I was so worried you wandered off like last time.” He exclaimed as he hugged him from behind as he laid his head on his shoulder. “What are you even doing up this late?”

“It's raining Ty.” Josh simply replied as he kept his eyes on the tiny droplets outside.

“Yeah it is baby. What's your point?” Tyler giggled as he snuggled into his neck. Josh didn't say anything as the rain held his interest. “Josh when did you dye your hair again?” Tyler asked as he played with Josh’s yellow fluffy strands.

“It's been raining all week….” Josh stated as his fingers ran down the cool glass of the window. “I haven't seen the sun in so long….I needed yellow...yellow will bring the sun back Ty I know it will.” Josh smiled as he leaned his forehead against the cold panes of the window. “The warm sun Ty. Remember when it was always so sunny.” He started to cry as he scratched at the wet glass. “Please Ty, I need the sun to take away this awful rain!” Josh pleaded as he pressed his face to the window.

“Josh calm down, don't worry it'll stop soon.” Tyler reassured him as he pulled him away from the window. He was shaking as his pulse picked up. Tyler knew he had to get him to relax before he slipped into another episode. When suddenly Josh began twitching harshly in his arms. “Josh...Josh baby no don't go!” Tyler begged as he held him close. His eyes were blown out wide and his mouth went slack. It was as if he’d seen a ghost. “Josh please!” Tyler yelled as he held his face.

Josh went numb to everything except the rain. It was coming down so hard that the window started to crack. Suddenly a ton of water flowed into the room as Josh tried hard to swim away. All the doors faded into the walls and there were no exits. “Tyler! Tyler help me!” Josh cried as he sank to the bottom. He couldn't escape and his air was running thin. Josh felt himself about to pass out.

Suddenly he went down a huge drain hole in the floor. It sent him spinning out of control. Josh finally got dumped in an empty parking lot. He coughed up so much water, he's lucky to be alive. Josh heard laughing and jumped to his feet to see it was him only younger.

“The monster can't eat anyone else...not anymore.” The younger Josh told him. Josh was lost until he saw a man's dead body lying in front of him. He was so afraid to move, he didn't know who it was or why his younger counterpart was so happy to be rid of him. “It's alright Josh come see what I did for you.” He said as his voice turned deeper...darker. Josh cried because he feared this thing with his face so much.

“N-no please...I wanna go home.” Josh begged as he tried to back away. The small puddles in the parking lot got deeper and thicker. Josh screamed because the water had turned to blood and it rained down as well. The look alike then grabbed Josh’s arm and pulled him back towards the dead body.

“Josh I said to look at the GIFT I got you.” He said as he turned to glare at him with red eyes.

“S-spooky?” Josh gasped. “No I don't wanna look please just let me go please!” He fought hard against him but it was all in vain. Spooky merely laughed as he threw him to the ground right next to the dead man.

“See he won't bite you...cause I removed his TEETH!” Spooky joked as he dropped a handful of teeth onto bloody ground. He cackled as the blood rained down harder. “Look at him!” Spooky demanded as he grabbed Josh head and made him gaze at it. It was Jack! He was gutted like a fish, limbs obviously broken, face beaten to a pulp yet it was him. A small smile spread across Josh’s face as the demon that tormented him lay dead before his very eyes . He moved to get a better look as he noticed the features changed. It was now Tyler, that laid there. Though he looked unharmed, he didn't wake up. Like he was in a deep sleep.

“TYLER!?...Spooky what did you do!?” Josh yelled as he held Tyler’s lifeless body close. “Ty please...don't leave me, I need you.” He cried as he tried to open his eyes.

“I freed us from all the pain!” Spooky laughed at Josh’s failed attempts. He then transformed into his adult form.

“Tyler never hurt us! Why kill him! I-I love him.” Josh cried as he held onto a dead Tyler.

“Oh Josh don’t you understand. He allowed us to be hurt really bad....so he couldn't be allowed to stay with us. If he won't lift a finger to help us.” Spooky reasoned as he kneeled down by him.

“B-but he would help me now. He told me he would.” Josh retorted weakly as he caressed Tyler’s face.

“Poor poor foolish Josh. Of course he’d say that. It's all about gaining your trust.” Spooky said as he smoothly pushed Tyler aside. Josh started to protest. “I can take care of you Josh. It will be just you and me.” He interrupted as he slid on his lap. Spooky gazed deep into Josh’s eyes as he held his face close.

“You and me?” Josh got lost inside those deadly red eyes. Spooky moved in and kissed him deeply. They made out passionately as they laid back amongst the blood. Spooky sat up laughing. Josh didn't know why, but he laughed along with him.

“Come back to me Josh!” Spooky chuckled as he slapped Josh hard. Josh merely laughed harder as Spooky continued to hit him repeatedly. The rain came down in sheets until they drowned in all the blood.

“Josh! Baby please just breathe for me!” Tyler pleaded as he pulled Josh in the shower under the cold water. Josh sprang to life, gasping for air. “Oh my God you're alright! Don't go that deep again! I thought you were dying on me! Oh Josh.” Tyler was a wreck. He’d been crying his name and pounding on his chest for what seemed like an hour. Soon he carried him to the shower with the cold water running before Josh had came to. Tyler hugged him tight. He pressed their bodies as close as he could get to feel Josh’s heart pumping life through him. “Baby talk to me, are you okay?” He asked. 

Tyler froze when he heard giggling. No not again. Tyler immediately tried to get away only to be grabbed by the throat. “Where you going? I thought you were worried baby?” Spooky Jim grinned, slamming him onto the shower floor. 

“P-please let me go….I..I” Tyler gasped as it became harder to breath. His vision blurred as he looked up into those red eyes that were colder than the ice water spraying on them. “P-please I-I love…...you” Tyler whispered, trying hard to get him to loosen his grip. Spooky smiled his toothy fangs as Tyler was passing out. He let go once he stopped fighting.

“No we can't have you getting off that easy.” Spooky said while lifting him up towards the shower head. He sprayed cold water in Tyler’s face to wake him up. He heaved in air as blood rushed to his brain. Before he could register anything Spooky pulled his head back and kissed him. He gripped Tyler’s hair hard as his kisses became rough and he started to rub him through his soaked pajama pants. Tyler moaned at his touch. “Tell me how do want it Tyler, soft or hard?” He whispered in his ear. They held each other’s gaze.

“Whatever you feel I deserve.” Tyler moaned after a while of silence. Spooky mere smiled in response. He then stripped him out off his soaked clothes. Tyler’s breath hitched when the cold water rained down on his nude body. Spooky also removed his wet clothes, then he moved to kiss Tyler’s now bruised neck. He both moaned and flinched at the combined pain and pleasure. Spooky’s warm hands gently rubbed over his freezing form.

“Why are you being so gentle with me spooky?” Tyler moaned softly feeling his body heat up with each brush of his boyfriend’s fingers. Spooky continued to rub his hands down until he gripped his cock. He started to jerk him fast as Tyler moaned loud letting his head lay on Spooky’s shoulder.

“Because I love to see you fall to pieces whether it's pain or pleasure.” He bite his lip while grinding his hard on against Tyler’s ass. With one swift motion, Spooky pushes Tyler down on all fours and ramming deep inside his wet ass. He bent over him as he pounded into him mercilessly. Spooky then pulled his hair hard and kissing down his neck again. Tyler screamed at the combined stimulations.

Everything was quickly becoming numb as Spooky heated him up and the water cooled him down. He clawed at the wet tiles as his eyes rolled back. When he aimed right at his prostate, Tyler had a massive orgasm out of nowhere. He spasmed uncontrollably as he emptied what felt like every last drop of cum down the drain. Spooky held him tight as he continued to thrust hard in him. He loved the feel of the contractions around his dick. Until Spooky unloaded inside him while mumbling his name.

Tyler panted as he laid down on the wet floor. The cold water was soothing him to sleep. Once Spooky regained his senses he carried him to bed. He didn't bother to dry them off because he was just as tired as Tyler. He merely stared at his sleeping form while caressing his now purplish black neck. “Don't forget I need you too Tyler….” Spooky said softly as silent tears hit his pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG this had me all over the place. And the ride gets wilder from here. But will Tyler be able to really help Josh with Spooky Jim raging out?
> 
>  
> 
> On another note I'm super happy that TØP finally put their 'Heavydirtysoul' video out. It was AWESOME!!! I screamed, I cheered, I cried (a lot).  
> Dude I've seen it like ten times everyday since it came out hehe I'm obsessed I know.
> 
> Well comment to let me know how you like the chapie or just to fan girl about their video cause I can't get enough of it!!!!! Lol
> 
> Seeya next time.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It becomes easier for Josh to slip between reality and his dark illusions.
> 
> Can Tyler help when Joshie starts to act out of character?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya girlys and guys! Here is chapie 5!!!
> 
> And since I made you wait all week as I slowly wrote this I made it extra long! Double yay!
> 
> And in the words of my best friend Myspookyjoshdunchristmas: I updated super hard for you peoples!!!!  
> ROFL
> 
> Enjoy!

“Does it still hurt Ty?” Josh asked as he watched Tyler inspect his neck. He cowered in the doorway of the bathroom. It had been about a week since that night and Josh was afraid to touch him.

“Only a little. And hey the color is starting to fade.” Tyler said hopefully turning to welcome him in the room. Josh knew it was lie because all he saw were deep purple hand prints. It was nice of him to try and make him feel better though. “Come on Josh, can I at least get a hug? Don't worry I won't break.” Tyler joked with his arms stretched out wide for him.

“No….I c-could’ve killed you Ty. A-and then where would I be without you?” Josh asked sadly as he walked away. Tyler gave him space at first but now he needed love more than ever. He couldn't have Josh feeling alone and even worse scared to let Tyler make it all better. He then slowly wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“See baby, I'm fine….I promise. Besides you could never hurt me, that was Spooky Jim. Not my Josh...alright?” Tyler told him. Josh just stood there too afraid to do anything.

“B-but...but….we’re the same Ty….I mean if Spooky can then what’s to stop me? I love you too much to do that…..and I refuse!” Josh cried as he pushed away from him. Tyler couldn't bare to see him so lost not again. The last time he saw him so upset was when he first got him back after he left the hospital. Back then Josh was afraid to do anything. He only cried non-stop and camped out in the closet. Tyler eventually regained his trust and got him to open up. Although he never pressed him for anything too deep about the torture he suffered. Even til this day Tyler only knows the basics. It was Josh’s choice if he told him, though he wasn't sure if he was ready for that conversation once he did.

“No Josh! Look at me.” Tyler tried to make him turn around. Josh only sat down on the bed with his back to him. He could still tell he was crying even though Josh tried to hide it. He really hated to do this but he sometimes needed commands to get him to behave. Tyler then gritted his teeth and rushed towards the bed and grabbed Josh by the hair. “I SAID LOOK AT ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND PET!?” He yelled as he stared down at Josh as he pulled him down on the bed. Josh was breathless as he looked deep into his eyes. His pulse was racing as he had to remember that it was Tyler and not HIM. He merely shook his head in response. “Use your words pretty boy.” Tyler commanded to get him to talk to him.

“Y-yes master...I understand. I'm sorry.” Josh said as more tears came. “I'm scared Ty...please I can't lose you too.” He pleaded. Tyler quickly pulled him into a hug and kissed him deep.

“Josh you won't lose me. I’ve made it through all of Spooky’s other beatings and I'll make it through this. I'll do anything for you Josh.” Tyler comforted him as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm sorry if I hurt you.” He added with a smile. They giggled.

“I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose Ty. Besides we agreed to that when I'm a little off.” Josh wiped his tears. “I need it sometimes...thanks for not thinking it's weird.” He added smiling.

“Nah I get it. Besides we’re ALL weird in some way.” Tyler felt better that he got his happy Josh back again. “Now how’s about you take a nap, I know you haven't slept much since well you know.” He gestured towards his neck.

“But what about our appointment with Dr. Black today?” Josh asked.

“Well since she saw through the make-up last time, I doubt I can hide my neck without her finding out. Don't worry you let me take care of that.” Tyler kissed Josh as he got off the bed. “Now get some rest.” as he went to the door.

“C-can I have a sleeping pill to help Ty?” Josh asked weakly. He hated sleeping alone and especially after that night. He’s been having terrible nightmares.

“Sure Josh just give me a second.” Tyler said as he went to get it and some water. He secretly hated those prescribed sleeping pills because they put Josh in a deep sleep. Too deep if you ask him. But in the beginning that was the only way to get Josh to rest because his night terrors kept him awake for days, weeks even. Over time Josh didn't need them as much. So Tyler knew he was pretty shaken up if he asked for such strong pills. “Here you go.” He smiled as he came back and handed him the pill. Josh took it and gave him puppy dog eyes. “Don't worry I'm just gonna be in the living room if you need me okay?” Tyler reassured him as he tucked him into the covers.

“O-okay.” Josh responded. Tyler then kissed him on the cheek and left. He really hated to do that to him, but he needs to learn that he won’t leave him alone forever. It was understandable considering the circumstances, but Dr. Black told him to give him his independence a little at a time. Otherwise he’d forever depend heavily on Tyler and that's not good. He grabbed the phone and dialed Dr. Black’s office. He sat down on the couch as he told the receptionist that they wouldn't make this week’s appointment due to illness. 

Meanwhile Josh tried hard not to go running to Tyler, but he couldn't stand being alone. It was slow torture. Josh sighed as he tossed and turned in the bed. He jumped when he heard the wind blow against the window. “ No Josh you can do this without Tyler.” He fought hard to stay in put as his tears streamed down his face. He pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes tight.

Soon a loud knock came on the door. Josh stopped crying as he slowly pulled the covers down. Why would Tyler knock on the door. He gasped as he sat up and found the room had changed. He was now in pretty room full of pastel colors and cute stuffed animals. It was his room that HE gave him for his sixteenth birthday. “No….it can't be...IT'S NOT REAL!!” Josh cried covering his ears and closing his eyes. The loud banging came again. Josh got up to try and hide, but stopped when he saw the metal chain around his ankle. He tried to pry it off but failed. The door flew open.

“Now now sweetie how many times did I tell you not to lock your door.” Jack said as he walked towards him.

“I-I'm sorry p-please don't hurt me.” Josh cried as he balled up on the bed.

“No I wouldn't hurt you, in fact I came to help you.” He said as he pulled him into a hug. Josh cried hard for he was afraid that he was lying. “Don't cry princess. I'm here to help you with Tyler.” He added.

“What do you mean with Tyler?” Josh asked while wiping his eyes. Jack smiled took his hand and walked him towards the mirror.

“I mean, you need to please Tyler. He’s your master now and if you don't please him. Then he might leave you.” He told him, holding his hands.

“But he said he wouldn't.” Josh whined. Jack merely smiled and turned him towards the mirror. He held him from behind.

“Of course he said that. But he won't be for long.” He said as he kissed Josh’s cheek. “Look how pretty you are Joshie. You need to doll yourself up like a good little boy and keep Tyler happy. Then he won't leave. I mean look at me, I never left you as long as my princess did his best to keep me happy.” He added as he rubbed his hands all over Josh. He began palming him as Josh moaned while grinding against his hands. “Now go make master proud.” Jack kissed his neck. Soon everything faded and he stood alone in the bathroom. Josh knew he had to make Tyler happy so he won't leave so hurried to become pretty for him.

Tyler had relaxed on the couch as he got lost in thought. He hadn't slept much either since the incident. He couldn't get those red eyes out of his mind as he thought it was all over. Spooky Jim really wanted to kill him and that terrified him. He held his throat while he tried to stable his breathing.

“Hi master.” Josh said in the doorway to the living room. He had curled his fluffy brown hair, put on pink eyeshadow and lipstick with black eyeliner. He wore a pretty tight black backless dress with lace panties and thigh highs to match. Tyler’s eyes went wild. He had never seen Josh like that before.

“J-joshie w-what is going on?” Tyler asked breathless as his eyes scanned his body. He strolled over towards Tyler, making sure to sway his hips.

“Call me princess master. And I wanna please you. Does this make you happy?” Joshie asked as he slide on Tyler’s lap. 

“Jos- I mean p-princess why do you feel you need to please me?” Tyler asked as he didn't even know what happened while he was on the phone. Did he have an episode and he didn't hear it? Well considering Joshie talking to him, that seemed to be the case. But why the sudden change in demeanor.

“So master doesn't leave me all alone silly.” Joshie smiled as he leaned in and kissed him. Tyler pulled him in as his hands ran down his back. Joshie moaned inside his mouth as he started to grind against his lap. Tyler then pushed him back.

“Wait wait you don't have to do anything like this to keep me Joshie. And I would never expect you to do this.” Tyler told him sternly as he held his arms. Besides although Joshie looked like Josh, his mindset would range between twelve and sixteen years old. And that was just wrong to take advantage of him.

“But you want Josh and Spooky! So why not me!?” Joshie yelled as he jumped from his lap. “You don't love me! And you wanna leave!” He cried as he smeared his make-up. Tyler jumped up to hold him, but he pulled away.

“Joshie what are you talking about I love you too! And I would never leave you. Who told you that?” He asked as he tried again to hold him only for Joshie to move away again.

“Jack told me that if I didn't please my master then you’ll leave me all alone. A-and you make love to Josh and Spooky, but not me! I just want to make you happy Ty ty! Don't you even want me?” Joshie screamed as he fell to his knees crying. “Please master don't leave please I promise I'll make you happy” He pleaded as he held on tight to his legs. 

“Joshie come on don't cry.” Tyler said as he bent down to pick him up. “Ty ty will make it all better.” He kissed his cheek as he carried him bridal style to the bedroom. He set Joshie on the bed and he sat next to him. “So you think I love Josh and Spooky more because I had sex with them?” Tyler asked rubbing Joshie’s knee.

“Yeah….Jack used to tell me that sex shows people how much they love you. And you refuse to even touch me. So I thought if I got pretty for you then maybe you’d change your mind.” Joshie said with sad but hopeful eyes.

“Sweetie I don't have to touch you to love you. And I think you're very pretty.” Tyler answered smiling. His hand kept rubbing his leg higher. He knew he had to stop but with Joshie in that outfit and practically begging him to fuck; Tyler couldn't help but want him. “No...I can't do this!” Tyler said aloud as he stood up. Joshie held his hand.

“Please Ty ty….I need you master.” Joshie moaned as he spread his legs wide. Tyler’s mouth dropped as that little black dress showed everything. And by everything I mean EVERYTHING. His panties were wet from pre-cum and he was so hard his cock was poking out the top. “Only my master can make his princess feel good.” Joshie bit his lip as he pulled Tyler’s hand on his cock. He moaned loud as he grinded hard against his palm. 

“Fuck.” Tyler gasped as he climbed on top of him while pulling his panties down and jerking him off. Joshie moaned loud as he spread his legs wider and held on to him. “You like this princess?” Tyler whispered in his ear as his hand jerked him faster.

“I love it master. Give me more please!” Joshie moaned while grinding in his hand. Tyler sat up and took his shirt off. He then pulled Joshie’s dress over his head and took off his panties. Joshie bit his lip as Tyler slowly rubbed his hands down his chest. “Take me now master.” He moaned as he started to unbutton his pants. Tyler then stopped him to his disappointment.

“Be patient. Now turn over princess.” Tyler commanded while staring deep into his eyes. Joshie blushed under such a strong look and turned over on his hands and knees. Tyler wanted their first time to be special so even though he knew his body could take it. Yet he still wanted to take his time to open him up. That way Joshie wouldn't be too alarmed. Tyler caressed each of Joshie’s ass cheeks before he bent down licked at his entrance. Joshie squealed at the surprise. Tyler grinned as went back at it. He stuck his tongue deep inside as he flicked his fast. 

“Oh my….” Joshie moaned gripping the sheets. His jaw dropped, eyes rolled back, and back arched hard. Tyler held on tight to his hips as his tongue kept working his open. Joshie screamed in response. Now Tyler knew he was ready and so he stopped. He then took of his pants and sat down on the bed.

“Come sit on my lap baby and I'll make you feel even better.” Tyler smiled while reaching for him. Joshie slowly climbed on top of him. They made out with passion. “Do you trust me princess?” Tyler asked as he looked deep into those pretty brown eyes. His face was smeared with make up yet he was the most gorgeous thing he’s ever seen. It was simple question, but it meant more than just sex. Joshie quickly picked up on it as well.

“Yes master….I trust you with everything.” He responded wrapping his arms around him. Tyler smiled and pulled him into another kiss as he lowered him on his cock. Joshie moaned inside his mouth at the feeling of being filled. He pulled away from their kiss to enjoy the wonderful feeling. He gave Tyler the signal to move once he relaxed. Tyler then started a slow pace as he bounced him up and down. They both moaned as he picked up the speed. “Yes...faster m-master!” Joshie moaned loud holding tight to his shoulders. Tyler bit his lip and complied as he slammed him down at a punishing tempo. Joshie’s head fell back as he moaned for more.

Tyler suddenly turned on top of him and rammed hard into him. Joshie clawed at his back at they went along. Tyler held tight to his as he threatened to pull then clean off his body. Joshie rambled his name with each thrust. “M-master please I'm so close, please let me cum!” He pleaded.

“Me too sweetie, just hold on longer for me okay.” Tyler told him and he breathlessly nodded in response. All that could be heard was slapping of skin and moaning. “Cum for your master princess!” He growled in his ear as he rammed into his sweet spot.

“MASTER!” Joshie screamed as he arched his back when his orgasm hit him. Tyler soon followed when he felt the tightening around his cock. The image of him coming apart made him unloaded a huge amount of cum inside Joshie. They sat there just trying to remember to breath for several minutes that followed. Tyler slowly pulled out once they calmed down.

“Now do you believe I love you Joshie?” Tyler whispered in his ear.

“Ty ty loves me a whole lot!” Joshie beamed as he pulled him down into more heated kisses. They held onto each other and kissed until Joshie passed out.

“I guess actions do speak louder than words.” Tyler said aloud as he ran his fingers through Joshie’s hair. He smiled when he noticed that the yellow dye was slowly coming back. “Yeah Josh, I love you too.” he kissed his forehead and snuggled to sleep as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I bet you weren't expecting that?
> 
> Hell neither was I and I wrote it! Not to mention how hot I think this chapie was lol super dirty birdy!
> 
> Anyhoo I hope this will tie you all over until I update again ( whenever that is hehe)
> 
> I can't wait to read the comments for this!
> 
> Stay street!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh's delusions become worse. And he then distances himself from Tyler.
> 
> Tyler on the other hand doesn't know what to do. But the last thing he wants is to talk to Dr. Black, who so happens to keep calling. He feels he can solve it on his own.
> 
> What's the worse that could happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya fruit salads!!!  
> (just give it time, I know you guys will learn to like it)
> 
> Well I wrote a long chapie and it will be an exciting ride! I won't give anything away so....
> 
> Enjoy!

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Josh screamed with tears flowing down his face. He threw things from their dresser at him. Tyler managed to dodge it all and moved closer.

“Josh please calm down!” Tyler pleaded with him. Josh had been flipping out non stop since the day him and Joshie had sex. To say he was less than pleased about it would be an understatement.

“I DON'T WANNA HEAR YOUR LIES TYLER!!” Josh cried as he tried to punch him. Tyler was struck a few times but managed to grab his wrists. He then pushed him down on the bed and pinned him down.

“Baby please I'm sorry if I hurt you. But you gotta tell me what's wrong!?” Tyler held him down as he tried to understand his sudden outrageous behavior.

“BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT JACK!!!” Josh screamed. “O-only he…..can touch me like that….” He whispered as tears continued to fall. Josh’s mind was breaking more by the day. Especially since he refused his meds for days.

“W-what?” Tyler gasped as he sat back. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. “Y-you don't mean that….Josh he was a MONSTER!” Tyler was more than angry.

“Well that MONSTER loved me for me unlike YOU!” Josh spat at him as he kicked away from him. He balled up and whimpered in his knees.

“J-josh….I always loved you. I mean WHO DO YOU THINK HAS GIVING UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU! ME OR THAT SICK BASTARD!” Tyler was losing it the more Josh spoke as if his tormenter was his lover. Josh flinched at Tyler’s raised voice. He merely cried and clawed at his hair. Josh didn't know what was happening to him but he was just so upset. “Josh please just take your medicine and you’ll feel better….baby please.” Tyler begged as he slowly moved towards him. He had to remember that Josh wasn't well and he didn't understand what he was saying.

“Tyler….I don't know what's real anymore…” Josh was more confused than ever.

“Don't worry I'll help you.” Tyler hugged him tight. Josh screamed out Jack’s name and cried as he tried to fight him off. Tyler held on tighter as his heart broke at the things Josh said. He may have not meant them, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. 

________________

Josh sat rocking on the bed. He hadn't said much since he stopped flipping out. Tyler could only get a response by force and he didn’t like treating Josh like his slave. Sure it was fine when he was only doing it every once in awhile. But not all the time. Josh barely ate or slept for days. He only stayed in their bedroom. Tyler took to the couch to prevent upsetting Josh again.

“J-josh is it okay if I come in?” Tyler asked as he walked in the room. Josh was balled up with the covers wrapped around him. “Are you cold? I can turn up the heat if you want.” He offered as he slowly got closer to the bed. Josh only stared out the window. Tyler climbed on the bed and took his face in his hands to get his attention. Josh’s eyes were bloodshot and puffy. “Baby do you hear me?” He asked.

“W-where’s Jack?….he promised to see me today.” Josh questioned as his eyes tried to focus. Tyler hated that he was only concerned with HIM lately. He frowned at the mere mention of his name, but he knew it wasn’t Josh’s fault because when he refused to take his meds for so long he reverts back to how he was when he first came home.

“He’ll be here as soon as you take your pills sweety.” Tyler smiled as he internally hated that beast with his whole being. If it wasn't for him then Josh wouldn't be like this.

“YOU’RE LYING!” Josh yelled as he yanked away from him. “I see it in your eyes! You only want to poison me with those pills!” He pushed Tyler off the bed. Tyler sighed when he hit the floor. He was tired of this.

“Fine don't take your meds. Just sit here and wait for that asshole!” Tyler huffed and left the room. He slammed the door behind him. Tyler sat down on the couch. He cried out of frustration. The thought of his boyfriend being lost forever scared him. And he didn't want him in some hospital for the rest of his life either. The phone rang and the I.D read Dr. Black’s office. Tyler then threw the phone across the room in anger. He was confused, but he knew better than to talk to her about it. Otherwise she’d take Josh away for sure. So he just closed his eyes as he tried to think of a solution.

Meanwhile Josh started rocking and humming to himself.

“Oh Joshie look at yourself. Still hiding in your room I see.” Jack said as he appeared next to him.

“Master you came for me!” Josh beamed as he hugged him tight. “I was waiting for you.”

“Well of course I’d come for my good boy!” Jack giggled while he rubbed his back. Josh moved into his lap and started kissing him. He moaned while Jack slid his hands under the covers to find he was nude underneath. “Oh my Joshie you DID miss me.” Jack’s eyes lit up and he pulled him closer. He then bit his neck as roughly jerked him off. Josh screamed in pleasure. Jack always knew how to make him fall apart.

“M-master I need you inside me.” Josh moaned. Jack grinned before he quickly pulled down his pants and rammed inside him. Josh gasped as he hit his prostate relentlessly. “Yes master right there!” He moaned louder as he grinded harder on him. Jack slid his hand back around his cock and jerked him fast. It didn’t take long before he was ready to blow. “Oh….oh….master please let me cum like a good little boy!” Josh panted heavily.

“Go ahead and let Joshie.” Jack smiled and licked the bite mark on his neck. Josh instantly squealed and came hard over both of them. Jack soon followed. “My princess always know how to get me off.” Jack kissed at Josh’s cheek and neck.

“O-only for you master.” Josh blushed deeply. He loved when his master praised him.

“Sadly princess….I come with bad news this time.” Jack frowned at him. Josh was afraid of what to come. “Don't worry I won't punish you. But Tyler will.” He added.

“Tyler? How?” Josh was confused again.

“Well princess he’s going to send you away. Back to that hell of a hospital you came from.” Jack told him.

“No he wouldn't!” Josh was beginning to panic. He hated it there, it was cold and the sun never shined. They only pumped him full of pills so he’d behave the way THEY wanted him to. And Tyler knew all this so why would he send him back.

“He can and he will Josh! He wants to take you away from me!” Jack growled as he shook him. Josh began to cry because he felt betrayed. “Don't worry Joshie. You know the only way to solve all our problems.” Jack grinned.

“H-how?” Josh asked through the tears. “Please I'll do anything so I don't get sent back there!” He begged.

“Good cause all you have to do is get rid of Tyler.” Jack laughed while caressing his cheek. Josh was horrified. He couldn't do that to his best friend and family not to mention his lover. Tyler was really everything to him now.

“I-I can't! He means too much to me master! Maybe I could talk to him!?” Josh yelled as he jumped up and paced the floor nervously. Jack on the other hand was done talking. He gritted his teeth and rushed out of bed. Jack back handed Josh to the floor.

“ARE GONNA SIT THERE AND SAY HE MEANS MORE THAN ME!? YOUR MASTER!?” Jack roared as he held him by his throat.

“N-no no no I-I didn't mean that master….o-only that Tyler and I love each other.” Josh cowered as tears ran down his face. 

“Oh and how much can he loves you if he wants to SEND YOU AWAY YOU IDIOT!?” Jack was furious as he squeezed his throat tight. Josh cried for him to stop. Jack’s grip became even tighter while he awaited what he wanted to hear.

“Please master I don't wanna die...I-I’ll do whatever you want just please do hurt me anymore!” Josh begged as he cried uncontrollably. 

“Good boy. Now go do what needs to be done. And if I were you I'd do it soon rather than later.” Jack smiled while he rubbed Josh’s bruised neck.

________________

More days past and Tyler didn't go in the bedroom to check on Josh. And Josh didn't come out. They couldn't go on this way. Yet Tyler refused to call Dr. Black for help. She was a great doctor, but she didn't understand their relationship. Tyler needed Josh just as much as Josh needed him. They were inseparable.

Tyler cried on and off over the days because he couldn't figure out what to do. What if Josh was really gone this time? What if he couldn't bounce back from this? Or worse what if he hated him? 

“Tyler?” Josh called from the doorway. He must've slipped in while he was lost in thought.

“JOSH!” Tyler ran to hug him. “I-I mean a-are you okay? Do you want anything?” He corrected so he wouldn't scare him back into his room.

“Could I have my pill please.” Josh said meekly. He looked normal enough just tired.

“Sure j-just sit down and I'll get it for you!” Tyler beamed before he ran to the kitchen to get his meds. He knew he was overthinking things. Josh was gonna be just fine now. “Here baby.” He smiled as he handed it off to him. Josh took his pills and matched his smile. 

Josh then leaned in to kiss Tyler. He let him, but he tried to pull away.

“Josh I don't think we should-” Tyler said while pushing him away.

“I thought you loved me baby?” Josh questioned with hurt in his eyes.

“Of course I do Josh….but-” Tyler tried.

“THEN LET ME LOVE YOU!” Josh growled as his eyes flashed red. Tyler flinched and gasped at the sight. 

“J-josh?” Tyler whispered because he was too afraid to speak louder.

“Yeah it’s me Ty….and I wouldn't hurt you remember?” Josh smiled while rubbing his cheek. Tyler smiled even though he was still pretty nervous. Josh leaned in again and this time Tyler didn't fight him. Soon his kiss started to heat up and he relaxed. Then Josh became rough as he held Tyler’s jaw open. He couldn't breathe and he struggled to break free. He then felt something get shoved down his throat. Tyler coughed violently after swallowing whatever it was.

“Take your medicine like a good boy Tyler.” Josh laughed as dat on top of him. Tyler’s eyes went wild because his pills were strong sedatives to keep him calm. “Goodbye baby.” Josh smiled as he pulled out a piece of broken mirror. He then brought it down on him.

“NO!”Tyler screamed as he moved in time to avoid being stabbed in the chest. Unfortunately his forearm was slashed in the process. Tyler managed to push Josh off and jumped off the couch. “J-josh what is wrong with you!?” He groaned as he cradled his bleeding arm. Josh smiled as he slowly got up.

“Nothing’s wrong Ty. I just need you dead.” Josh said nonchalantly as he moved closer.

“WHAT!? B-but why Josh don't you love me anymore?” Tyler was terrified by his calmness. His eyes and hair were normal, but this wasn't Josh at all.

“Because Jack told me you must go. And what master says is final Tyler no exceptions.” Josh’s eyes flashed red again. Tyler froze in fear. In that brief moment Josh’s hair turned red and slashed Tyler’s cheek while also slapping him to the floor. He hit hard as he felt the pills he forcefully took begin to take effect. Josh twitched and he was back to normal. Well his crazy yet calm normal self. “I'm sorry but try not to take it personally. I still love you.” He added as got on top of Tyler again.

Tyler managed to hold off the sharp object. Josh pushed down harder as he struggled to stab him. They locked eyes and they both had tears In their eyes. Tyler began to panic when his vision started to blur. He then quickly kneed Josh and flipped on top of him. Once he had him pinned he was able to pull the piece of mirror away.

“Josh….please it's over.” Tyler panted as he held him down.

“I DON'T WANNA BE SENT BACK TO THAT HOSPITAL!” Josh cried as he turned away from him.

“W-what are talking about?” Tyler didn't understand what brought this on, but he needed to act fast before those pills knocked him out. Not to mention the blood pouring from his arm and and cheek was making him weak.

“Master told me that you were gonna send me back. I tried to tell him that you wouldn't. But he threatened to kill me if I didn't….I'm so sorry Ty ty….I'm just so scared.” Josh explained while tears streamed down his face. Tyler noticed that his hair was changing to brown.

“J-joshie? Listen I promise you that Jack can't hurt you anymore. And no matter what you do, I won't ever send you to the hospital...okay?” Tyler panted from exhaustion and blood lost.

“Y-you pinky swear Ty ty?” Joshie asked with huge tears in his eyes. Tyler could never get enough of this man. Even with all his problems and sides. Josh was the only one for him.

“Yeah I pinky swear Joshie.” Tyler smiled while wiping his tears. Joshie giggled and leaned up to kiss Tyler.

“I love you Ty ty.” Joshie blushed because he likes being close to him.

“I love you too Joshie…” Tyler slurred before he past out on top of him. 

“Ty ty!?” Joshie shook him to get him to wake up. Tyler was out cold and his pulse was slowing. “PLEASE TY TY! I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO!” Joshie screamed as he laid him on his back. Tyler wasn't responding and then he remembered that he was still bleeding badly from his arm. He then ran to get a towel and wrapped it tightly around his arm. 

“TYLER PLEASE! I NEED YOU!” Joshie cried as he laid Tyler’s head in his lap. He was so scared because he didn t know what to do. “ I'M SORRY…..I'M SO SORRY!” He pleaded for him to open his eyes. Tyler then stopped breathing.

“TYLER!!!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! That was something wasn't it!?
> 
> Now I hate cliffhangers as much as the next reader.....
> 
> But Damn it feels good to finally be on the other end of it for a change! No wonder authors always do it! LMAO
> 
> Anyhoo you can let me know how you feel about it with your comments!  
> Don't forget to leave a kudo!
> 
> Ya'll hang in there! ;D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luckily Tyler barely survived his horrible ordeal. Joshie stays by his side.Only for Dr. Black to drop another bombshell on the two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya Fruit baes! I'm here with chapie 7! Whoooo!
> 
> I feel like I haven't 'whooed' in a while. I missed it. Lol. Anyway this chapie is....well let's just say it's bad that goes to worse.
> 
> I am not responsible for any hurt feelings obtained during this chapie. So be careful.
> 
> Enjoy

“This is all my fault.” Joshie rocked back and forth repeating that phrase to himself. He couldn't stop crying as he watched Tyler lay motionless in bed. Joshie would occasionally hold his hand or touch his face. It was his coping mechanism to tell himself that he was still with him. “Please Ty ty…...y-you gotta wake up. I promise not to cause anymore problems for you. Just please….I'm scared to be alone.” Joshie pleaded with him.

Tyler had been out cold for the last three days. He was hooked up to an I.V machine for fluids and had oxygen flowing through his nose. Not to mention his bandaged up arm. It all was really taking it's toll on the poor boy to see Tyler like that. He never left his side for even a second. Refusing food and sleep. Only crying and begging him to open his eyes. Joshie looked a mess with his red puffy eyes with dark heavy bags, pale complexion, and straggly brown hair. He had taken to pulling at it during his crying fits.

“Has there been any change Joshie?” Jenna asked as she walked into the room. He looked so gloom as he shooked his head in response. “Well don't worry he’ll wake up soon. The combination of those pills and the blood lost can really take Tyler off his game. But hey maybe sleeping beauty just needs a kiss to wake him up.” She joked to try and cheer him up. 

“R-really? You think that’ll work?” Joshie blushed from embarrassment. He loved kissing Tyler, but he never thought it could really wake him up. Jenna smiled at his innocence.

“No I was only joking, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.” She didn't want to break him down more than he already has been. The thought of putting your loved one in the hospital was bad enough. But in Joshie’s case it wasn't his fault. It was like watching a horror movie while also starring in it and you're powerless to stop the carnage from happening. That for Joshie must’ve been pure torture. “I brought you a nice lunch I made because I know that hospital food can be kinda yucky. So will you try and eat something for me today?” Jenna asked him very nicely.

“O-okay….for you Ms. Black.” Joshie slowly took the lunch bag from her. She smiled at him. It was great to see him attempting to do anything other than crying for the first time in days. 

“Well I gotta do some paperwork, but I'll come back in about an hour. And I wanna see that you’ve eaten at least something from that lunch. Cause I made it special for you alright?” Jenna headed for the door. Joshie only nodded in response while he stood at the end of Tyler’s bed. She sighed as she left. He only wanted Tyler and nothing else. Jenna hated to see them in pain, but something needed to be done. As a psychiatrist it was her job to fix it.

Joshie walked slowly towards him. “Will a kiss really work?” He gulped as he debated the thought. Joshie closed his eyes then leaned in closer. Tyler started to stir in his sleep.

“J...josh? W-where am I?” Tyler groaned as his eyes adjusted to the light. “Josh w-what are you doing?” He asked as he was confused why Josh was so close to his face. Joshie then popped up with his face all beet red.

“I-I-I….well I-I thought maybe if a kiss could wake sleeping beauty then it might work on you too. But I didn't have to, you awoke all on your on! OH TY TY!” Joshie cried as he nearly jumped on top of Tyler trying to hug him.

“W-what? Argh hey Joshie watch my arm, it still hurts.” Tyler was confused by his behavior, but also in pain. 

“I'M SORRY TY TY…..I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT! IT WAS SPOOKY JIM NOT ME. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!” Joshie screamed with tears streaming down his cheeks. Tyler merely pulled him into a big hug. He didn't wanna think about how close he came to losing it all. “B-but Ty ty you said your arm-” Joshie tried.

“You’re more important Joshie! I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you worry so much. But I'm gonna be fine now.” Tyler reassured him as he cradled the sad boy. He didn't want to let him go. And he’d be damned if a sore arm stop him from keeping his lovely Josh close. “I almost lost you Joshie. I couldn't take that. I love you too much to let you go that easily” Tyler sniffled as the water came flowing from his eyes.

“I love you too Ty ty. Don't cry I'm here to take care of you.” Joshie snuggled into his neck. Even after all this time, he still smelled the same. He loved Tyler’s scent. It made him feel at ease.

“Whatever you say.” Tyler giggled at how cute Joshie could be. He kissed his hair. Though it was a mess, it still felt just as fluffy as it always been. “Come on climb in here with me, you look tired.” Tyler offered. Joshie slowly slid in beside him. “Joshie…” He whispered. His heart was pounding because it had been a while since they were this close. And in every form Josh had the ability to take Tyler’s breath away.

“Ty ty…” Joshie whispered as he leaned in and so did Tyler. Fire seemed to spark once their lips touched. It was slow, but passionate. Their tongues flowed over each other as the kiss grew deeper. Joshie moaned at being this close to Tyler. And Tyler breathed him in. He started kissing down his neck. Joshie moaned more as he pulled him closer.

They made out passionately as things began to heat up. Joshie shifted on top of him and started to grind slowly against Tyler. They both closed their eyes, just enjoying the friction. Tyler put his hands on Joshie’s hips as Joshie spread his legs. They began grinding harder against each other.

“Well that wasn't quite what I meant, but whatever works I guess.” Jenna said as she strolled casually into the room.

“Umm...uh...it's not what it looks like!” Joshie jumped up blushing out of embarrassment. Tyler sat up and readjusted himself in bed. It was bad enough of her seeing them like that. The last thing he wanted was Jenna gazing at his hard on too.

“Well it looks pretty obvious to me boys. Just be lucky I interrupted and not someone else.” Jenna giggled as she went to check Tyler’s machines. “And here I thought you’d be zombified when you woke up, but nope I see Joshie fixed you rather nicely.” She added with a smile while writing in her notebook. Tyler quickly caught on and took his pillow over his crotch.

“I-it's not polite to stare doctor!” Tyler’s face was turning red. Jenna only laughed at him. Even Joshie couldn't hide his snickers. “Besides I'm still in pain...urgh I feel like a truck hit me.” He groaned as he laid back.

“You look it too.” Jenna commented smugly. “Now that we got that out of the way. I have to tell you something serious.” She added sternly. Joshie’s smile faded.

“What’s wrong?” Tyler held on to Joshie’s hand to prepare himself for the worse.

“Tyler...things have changed.” Jenna looked sternly in his eyes. Tyler’s face dropped. This was way worse than anything he could've imagined.

“B-but you promised. I-I can…...YOU CAN'T DO THIS!” Tyler screamed. He was furious.

“W-what is going on?” Joshie asked anxiously while holding on to Tyler’s hand. “Ty ty?”

“I promised so long as you kept things handled. And even that was AFTER I found out Spooky was abusing you!” Jenna retorted. Tyler opened his mouth to counter only for Dr. Black to continue. “And to top that off. You missed a MONTH of appointments. Which are MANDATORY by the way. So I have no idea how’s my patient been. WHEN OUT OF THE BLUE, JOSHIE CALLED ME BEGGING ME TO HELP YOU!” Jenna yelled at him.

“I TOLD YOU ONLY I CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM!” Tyler roared back at her. He let of Joshie’s hand as he tried to get out of bed. 

“Ty ty calm down, you need your rest!” Joshie cried while trying to keep Tyler in bed. “W-what are you two even talking about!?” He added. They kept shouting and he hated yelling. It was too difficult to understand when people yelled. It was all so confusing.

“T-tell him doctor.” Tyler told her with tears in his eyes. Dr. Black glanced at Joshie and saw such hurt and confusion. She couldn't take hurting him on top of all the pain he’s suffered all his life. And that’s just what he wanted her to do. “TELL HIM JENNA!” Tyler demanded.

“Tell me what!?” Joshie still didn't understand what they were talking about. But judging from Tyler’s reaction it wasn't good news.

“Fine! Since you want to make me the bad guy here. Fine Tyler! Joshie since he’s unable to properly care for you. I've decided that you are better suited back at the facilities I had you at before you went with Tyler.” Jenna huffed. She had to retain her professional demeanor in order to hold back the tears.

“What!? Y-you can't! Y-you know I hate it there! It's cold, dark, and the people are mean to me! Please don't send me back!” Joshie implored nervously. “Ty ty do something, please you can't let her do this! Tell her I belong with you!” He pulled on Tyler’s arm desperately.

“Joshie I promise you that it won't be like that. I will see to it that you have the best care. And you’ll still be able to see Tyler. Just not as much.” Jenna tried to reason with him as she slowly made her way towards him.

“Stop it! Can't you see you're scaring him!” Tyler butt in as he cradled Joshie. “Shh don't worry I won't let them take you away from me. Not again.” He whispered as Joshie just cried in his chest. Jenna could already tell this was going to be difficult.

“Nurse I'm going to need some assistance escorting Mr. Dun.” Jenna said over the intercom. Soon three rather large male nurses came in with a straight jacket. “Come on Joshie it's time to go now. We’ll see Tyler tomorrow okay?” She told him as she gently pulled him away.

“NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M STAYING WITH TY TY!” Joshie yelled at her and pushed her away harshly. Jenna fell to the floor and the nurses then stepped in. Joshie ran and held on tight to Tyler. He began twitching violently as he cried to stay.

“Stop this! You all are upsetting him!” Tyler shouted while calming Joshie.

“We’re just doing our jobs son. And he’s coming with us.” One nurse told them as they pulled him away again. This time his eyes flashed red and Spooky took over. He growled to get them to back off. Spooky threw one nurse against the wall. Another got a foot to the face for trying to grab his legs. And the last one was punched so hard he was sent stumbling back towards the door.

“SPOOKY DON'T HURT THEM PLEASE!” Tyler screamed as he slowly climbed out of bed. His feet were wobbly so he had to hold on to the railing just to stand up.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU BITCH!” Spooky roared as he ran to kick Jenna in the stomach multiple times. She cried in pain.

“SPOOKY STOP IT PLEASE!” Tyler threw himself on him. He held on tight to get him to cease his attack on the doctor. “P-please baby….I love you don't do this...she isn't worth it!” He begged with water pouring from his eyes.

“LOVE ME!?” Spooky pushed Tyler back on the bed. “YOU WANT THEM TO SEND ME BACK! THAT'S WHY YOU’RE PROTECTING HER! JACK WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU!” He was so angry that he couldn't stop himself from choking Tyler.

“Please! I'm not! Believe me I don't wanna send you away!” Tyler gasped as he tried to pry his hands off his throat. His vision was blurring through the tears. Through it all Tyler’s attempts were futile and in his weak state, air was becoming thin very fast.

“YOU FUCKING LYING BASTARD!” Spooky’s grip tightened. Suddenly one of the nurses came behind them and injected Spooky with a needle. He soon passed out in their arms. Tyler coughed as the air came flooding back into his lungs. Jenna was helped off the floor by one of the other nurses. Spooky was out cold as they slipped the jacket on him.

“T-tyler…” Josh groaned as he tried to move. “TYLER WHAT'S GOING ON!?” He cried once he realised he was stuck in a straight jacket.

“J-josh!” Tyler rasped while reaching for him. They locked eyes. Both expressed so much pain and fear in them. They tried to run towards each other, but the nurses kept them apart. “Josh!” He cried as he was pushed down on the bed.

“TYLER HELP ME!” Josh screamed as he was being dragged out of the room. “TYLER PLEASE I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY! JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME BACK! I LOVE YOU!” He continued to scream in the hallway. “TYLER!” Josh kept screaming and begging Tyler to save him as he was taken through the halls.

Soon the nurse let Tyler go and took to the ailing doctor. The two remaining nurses got a wheelchair to transport her to get checked out. Jenna was in so much pain from the kicks she received. Yet it was nothing compared to how she felt inside for having to forcefully separate Tyler and Josh. She couldn't even look at him as they wheeled her out.

“Josh….I love you too….” Tyler curled up in bed and cried. He was alone now with only Josh’s screams to fill his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....you all hate me now don't you?
> 
> But it was Jenna, she did it not me!
> 
> *sighs*
> 
> But I'm the writer....I get it.
> 
> So should Josh go back to Tyler or should he stay locked away?
> 
> Your comments will help me decide. And a kudo would make me smile.
> 
> Until next time!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler has to see a therapist in order to be able to get Josh back.
> 
> Dallon's not going to cut him anymore slack.
> 
> If he wanted Josh back, it meant he was going to have to express his true feelings. Tyler's not sure he wants to tell all his secrets.
> 
> No one said healing was easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello out there in my beautiful Fruit World!
> 
> Here's another update for you all. I have so many stories it's hard to keep them all straight. But I'm going to try and keep all these up. 
> 
> This is going to be a very emotional chapie. With homophobic slurs and a lot of sad stuff. So be careful if you are easily triggered read at your own risk.
> 
> Enjoy!

“So how are you feeling today Tyler?” Dallon smiled at him from over his notebook. 

Tyler just looked around the room. He didn't answer him.

“Have you been eating well?” Dallon continued to be hopeful. He leaned forward in his chair.

Tyler just kept to ignoring him. He stared at the nice clock on the wall.

“Any new hobbies perhaps?” Dallon was now forcing to keep his smile. His patience was beginning to run out.

Tyler laid back on the couch and started to play with his fingers. His eyes locked to the ceiling. He’s played this game with his doctor before. And in the end he always wins.

“Fine Tyler just ask your questions already.” Dallon sighed as he closed his book. He hated this tit for tat they engaged in every week, but it was the only way to get him to talk.

“How is he?” Tyler asked as he sat up to look at him.

“Fine. Next question?” Dallon sat back in his chair.

“Elaborate damn it!” Tyler snapped at him. Dallon only sighed.

“No.” Dallon calmly drank his coffee. He wasn't going to give him what he wanted just because he had a temper tantrum every time someone said something he didn't wanna hear.

“You’ve done it before! Why stop now!?” Tyler demanded as he felt the tears creep up again. He was desperate to know that Josh was alright. Especially since he hasn't seen him since they took him away when he was in the hospital. That was nearly two month ago. “Please doctor I love him and I'm just worried about him.” He cried to him.

“I know Tyler.” Was all Dallon said. He’s been tricked by those tears and pleas before. It's all his ploy to guilt trip Dallon in order to get his way.

“What's wrong with you!? What did Dr. Black tell you not to tell me anything about Josh!?” Tyler yelled. He was growing tired of her interference.

“Dr. Black said nothing of the sort. I'm just more interested in you.” Dallon replied as he opened his notebook again.

“I need to know that Josh is alright! Now tell me how he is!” Tyler demanded as he stood up. Dallon remained silent as he wrote in his notes, unphased by Tyler’s performance. “Look Josh-”

“Josh is NOT my patient. YOU are. Therefore from now on all I want to hear is about TYLER.” Dallon stood up to meet his gaze. They stood their like statues trapped in a showdown. Tyler was the first to turn away.

“Why are you making this so difficult doctor!?” Tyler groaned and began to pace the floor.

“I could ask you the same thing Tyler.” Dallon sat back down. “You see your problem is you’ve wrapped your whole life around Josh. So much so that you lost who YOU are.” He said as he watched him pace faster. “I mean there has been past abuse between you two. The guy nearly killed you only a few weeks ago. Yet here you are asking me, BEGGING me to tell you of his welfare. I mean who does that?” Dallon continued to talk.

Tyler started breathing faster. Biting his bottom lip. Scratching at his face. All while he paced and listened to Dallon talk. He knew he was trying to get him to open up, but he promised himself he wouldn't. He couldn't. 

“You wait on him hand and foot. Make sure he takes his medications daily. Deal with the constant personality changes. Tyler I have to say you’re a better man than me.” Dallon knew that by making Josh seem like a problem was getting to him. And all he had to do was say the right thing before Tyler would explode. While he doesn't usually like to intentionally push his patient’s buttons. Tyler was very emotional, but he kept it well hidden behind a wall. A barrier to keep him and Josh trapped in his perfect little world in his mind.

So all Dallon had to do was break down that fortress of his. And when all those emotions came flooding through. Then the truth will come out as well. “And does he even show any gratitude for it?” Dallon asked as he stood up again.

“O-of course he does!” Tyler countered.

“How? By beating you?” Dallon walked closer.

“No he just-” Tyler tried as he stopped pacing.

“Raping you?” Dallon got closer.

“He never-” Tyler tried again. He could feel the tears coming.

“Oh I saw the medical reports from when you were in the hospital. And when they did a physical, it showed tearing and scarring Tyler.” Dallon walked until they were face to face.

“You don't know what you’re talking about!” Tyler quickly turned away to avoid Dallon’s strong gaze.

“Oh I think I do. You’ve become nothing but Josh’s GUARDIAN.” Dallon started.

“Shut up.” Tyler closed his eyes to keep the tears in.

“His RAG DOLL to throw around.” Dallon closed in on him from behind.

“No.” Tyler pressed his fist to his temples to get the building pressure in his head to stop.

“His pretty little WHORE he can fuck to his heart's content!” Dallon was playing with fire, but he could sense the wall between them beginning to crack.

“Please stop!” Tyler begged as he covered his ears to try and block him out.

“Stop? But we’re just getting started Tyler.” Dallon walked around so he could be face to face with him again. “I mean don't you wanna hear about Josh?” He asked as he narrowed in on him again.

“I don't talk anymore.” Tyler whimpered as he opened his watery eyes.

“I see it in your eyes that you do Tyler.” Dallon smiled at him. “So let’s talk about what you could be doing with your life.” He took a step closer.

“I'm DOING what I wanna do with my life!” Tyler sniffed as he tried to regain his composure. He tooked a step back.

“Oh but as I recall you were in college before Josh.” Dallon stepped closer. Tyler could put on a great act, but that wall was falling apart. And they BOTH knew it.

“School wasn't really for me anyway.” Tyler glared and kept moving backwards.

“Well there was the music. You played gigs all around town before Josh also.” Dallon continued to drill into him. So he moved forward.

“Music was just something to pass the time. It wasn't THAT important.” Tyler gritted his teeth as he felt the pressure building again.

“What about friends? Didn't you have so many friends before Josh too?” Dallon inquired. He had now backed him into the wall. There they were eyes locked in battle once more.

“Josh IS my friend.” Tyler spoke slowly to calm his frazzled nerves. 

“What are hiding Tyler?”Dallon leaned in closer.

“Nothing.” Tyler replied. The tears were creeping in the corner of his eyes. Dallon knew he was almost to a breakthrough. It only took one last blow. He leaned in so close to Tyler, you would’ve thought Dallon was moving in for a kiss.

“I know what it is now. You need Josh more than he needs you...just look what a mess you are without him.” Dallon whispered in his ear. Tears rolled down Tyler’s cheek. His breathe hitched and his muscles tightened. Dallon had just shattered that wall of his. All that was left was for him to finally tell the truth. “Is that why you feel compelled to give up everything to take care of him?” He asked as he backed up a bit to gage Tyler’s response.

“No….I...I just have to take care of Josh…” Tyler didn't want to say anymore and the tears refused to stop. He gave Dallon sad eyes as a plea for them to stop.

“But WHY? WHY is Josh so important? WHY do you feel so guilty to let him hurt you so? WHY can't you let him GO!?” Dallon demanded to know. He wasn't going to let Tyler run away anymore. He needed to come clean once and for all.

“BECAUSE IT'S ALL MY FAULT!” Tyler screamed. “T-the way he is….it's because of me…” He spent all these years trying to hold it in, but it was gonna come out weather he wanted it to or not. “Y-you see doctor we grew up together...always so close...Josh was my best friend...but as we got older t-those feelings changed.” Tyler smiled sadly. “S-so I went to my dad one day and asked if it was okay f-for a man to love another man….purely hypothetical of course. And he got so angry...said it was DIRTY...SINFUL….a-and that QUEERS deserve to burn in HELL! My father said THAT!” Tyler cried to Dallon. 

Dallon was at a lost for words. What could he really say to that?

“W-well stuff like that really sticks with a kid you know....a-and while me and Josh were playing in our tree fort some time after that...he….umm...he told me that he liked me a lot. And I said I liked him a whole lot too. He kissed me on the cheek and it wasn't a big deal….b-but then he moved in a-and kissed me on the lips.” Tyler gently touched his lips as if he was remembering that day vividly. “I had never been kiss on the lips before...a-and it felt good...great even. We kept kissing u-until I was flat on my back...we held on tight to each other...b-but then all my father’s words came screaming in head. A-and I told myself I had to stop...c-cause my dad would be so mad at me.” Tyler’s breathing became shallow.

“Well that's understandable. I mean you were young and you only wanted to do what was right. And your parents are always right at that age. It never occurred that your father could be wrong.” Dallon tried to reason with him so he would know it wasn't his fault.

“No doctor it's NOT!” Tyler snapped at him. Dallon could see the loathing in his watery eyes. “I-I got so scared of my dad finding out that I was with Josh l-like THAT! S-so I pushed him off me….so HARD….h-he nearly fell out of the tree fort.” Tyler held himself tight.

“Tyler it's alright, you didn't mean to hurt him.” Dallon moved closer. He put his hand on his shoulder to reassure him that he only wanted to help him.

“NO!” Tyler objected as he turned to the wall. “I didn't just push him….I yelled at him...I told him….OH GOD I TOLD HIM TO KEEP HIS DIRTY LIPS AWAY FROM ME...AND THAT QUEERS LIKE HIM DESERVED TO BURN IN HELL!...I SAID THAT TO JOSH!....MY BEST FRIEND!” Tyler screamed as he cried harder. “I still remember the pain on his face….h-he looked so heartbroken...and all I did was RUN AWAY!” He clawed at the wall as he wanted so badly to forget, but it always stayed present in the back of his mind.

“A-and we were supposed to go to Disney World that summer together...b-but I refused to go with Josh.” Tyler turned to face Dallon to beg his forgiveness. “Please you gotta understand I couldn't be alone with him anymore...not after THAT! I mean what if it would've happened again and I didn't stop and my parents FOUND OUT!? I-I...I just COULDN'T!” Tyler bit his lip to try and calm down, but the tears kept flowing. “So we went on separate trips that summer...I went to visit my cousins...a-and Josh went on his camping trip with his folks at the beginning of the summer, instead of the end like they usually did…” Tyler was desperately trying to process all these horrible feelings. He could barely breathe, but his heart was pumping so fast.

“Tyler just relax now.” Dallon attempted to get his attention.

“I-if only I would’ve went...then Josh would still have his family and he wouldn't be so lost now….DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND DOCTOR I CAUSED THE MAN I LOVE HIS FAMILY AND TO BE TORTURED AND RAPED FOR SIX YEARS! ALL BECAUSE I WAS TOO AFRAID TO TELL HIM I LOVED HIM BACK! I'M AS MUCH TO BLAME AS THOSE MONSTERS WHO DID THAT TO HIM! THAT'S WHY I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR JOSH...I GOTTA MAKE AMENDS FOR THE PAST! SO I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DOES TO ME BECAUSE I DESERVE IT ALL AND A LOT MORE!” Tyler screamed and held on tight to Dallon’s shoulders. That way he could know that it was not only his duty, but his punishment to take care of Josh. It was the only way he felt that would at least somewhat balance out all the bad he caused him.

“Tyler bad things just happen sometimes. And it's not necessarily someone’s fault. Just how the world works sometimes. You had no idea that, that was going to happen to Josh and his family. Now THOSE MONSTERS are to blame Tyler. Not YOU!” Dallon told him sternly. He had no idea Tyler had this huge of a weight keeping him tied to Josh.

Tyler just broke down crying in Dallon’s arms. Sure he finally got him to open up. He had single handedly tore down his barriers. Made him feel all the emotions that Tyler had locked away long ago. He had accomplished his goal, but as Dallon cradled a broken Tyler as he cried and pleaded for Josh’s forgiveness. He wasn’t so sure if that was what he wanted it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah.....that was just sad......
> 
> To sad for words....
> 
> Well I DID sorta put it into words, but that's beside the point.
> 
> Anyway leave me comments of what you think so far.
> 
> Strawberry Out! ^~^


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyler and Josh finally meet after a long time. 
> 
> And it's time they have an over due talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my kick ass watermelons! 
> 
> Chapie 9! Yay! And it's gonna get crazy! Not really.....or is it? (Harry Style's voice) LMAO 
> 
> I don't even know anymore.....
> 
> Enjoy!

Dallon and Tyler walked down the hospital hallway. It had been a week since Tyler’s breakdown. Neither of them knew if it was from guilt or actual beneficial properties, but Dallon was taking Tyler to visit Josh during his session this week. They kept walking until they came to a room with double doors. Tyler rushed inside expecting to find the yellow haired boy awaiting his arrival. But it was empty. 

“W-what…...where is Josh?” Tyler was really anxious to see him again. “You said he was alright! D-did something happen!?” He turned to Dallon with worry in his eyes.

“He’s fine, Tyler calm down. Dr. Black is bringing him over for us.” Dallon smiled as he sat Tyler down. He found it amusing how nervous he was to see Josh. 

Tyler began to bounce his knees impatiently. He hated waiting especially when it came to waiting to see Josh. This took him back to when he first got to take Josh home with him. He was a nervous wreck then too. And Josh just looked a mess completely. Tyler began to fear that he’ll be in that same shape when he saw him again. “Doctor are you sure-”

Just then the door opened on the other end of the room. Dr. Black came in, pulling a shy yellow haired Josh. His eyes remained on the floor. 

“Hi guys, here he is. Don't worry he’s just a little nervous about leaving his room. ” Jenna said cheerfully as she got behind him. “Josh look who came to see you.” She whispered to him. Josh looked up and locked eyes with Tyler.

“Tyler!” Josh cried as he ran towards him. 

“Josh!” Tyler shouted as he jumped up and ran to him. They held on to each other tight. Like they would be snatch away at any second.

“I-I missed you so much Ty.” Josh sniffed once they pulled away from each other. 

“I missed you too Josh.” Tyler said as he wiped Josh’s stray tears. He then leaned in closer. 

“Um Ty…” Josh blushed and motioned towards Dallon and Jenna looking at them. Tyler quickly backed away and laughed in embarrassment.

“Ugh would it be too much to ask for a little privacy?” Tyler asked Dallon. He held on to Josh’s hand because after being away from him for so long, Tyler needed the constant contact. In all honesty they both needed it. 

“Sure, we’re just gonna go behind this one way mirror and watch you from there instead.” Dallon smirked as he pointed to the mirror behind him. 

“How very perverted of you doctor. I'm trying to have an intimate moment with Josh.” Tyler frowned at the lack of privacy. 

“Says the man, who will undoubtedly still make out knowing that there will be an audience. Quite the exhibitionist aren't we?” Dallon countered. Jenna and Josh snickered as Tyler remained quiet.

“Well Dr. Weekes and I will give you as much privacy as possible. If you need us, we’re just in the next room. ” Jenna said as she pushed Dallon out the door. 

“Smug bastard.” Tyler grumbled after they left. 

“Don't mind him...now where were we?” Josh smirked as he pulled Tyler flushed against him. He giggled before they moved in until their lips touched. It was like fireworks went off between them. Josh seemed to swallow Tyler entirely and he willingly got sucked in. They had to make up for lost time. 

“Whoa…..that was…...was…..mind blowing.” Tyler panted once they broke for air. They rested their heads against each other. 

“That's not the only thing that's blowing right now. ” Josh joked with a smile. Tyler giggled and caressed his cheek. Two months. He couldn't believe how long it's been since they were together. 

“H-how have been doing? You look healthy enough.” Tyler asked meekly as he moved away from him. He hated the thought that Josh might be better off without him. 

“I'm doing alright…..I mean I still have the blackouts….but nothing I can't handle right Ty?” Josh giggled. 

“He was right...I do need you more.” Tyler mumbled as he started to tear up. 

“Ty please what's wrong? Talk to me.” Josh asked worriedly. Tyler cried silently with his back to him. “Tyler look at me. What did I do?” He pleaded. 

“YOU'RE FINE THAT'S WHAT!” Tyler turned and yelled at him. 

“What?” Josh was completely lost at this point. 

The doctors gazed upon the scene with similar curiosity. “What could be upsetting Tyler so much? I thought he’d be happy to know Josh is doing well in his absence.” Jenna inquired to Dallon. 

“You would think, but I know he has mixed feelings at the moment.” Dallon responded. 

“Meaning what?” Jenna still wasn't catching on to what he meant. 

“Just watch and it’ll all make sense soon Dr. Black.” Dallon directed her attention back to the two in the room. 

“I MADE YOU THIS WAY. SO IT SHOULD BE ME TO FIX YOU!” Tyler cried. 

“B-but Ty, you had nothing to do with this…..that was Jack’s doing.” Josh wasn't sure where this was coming from. 

“But it was me who put you in that forest that night.” Tyler continued. 

“Tyler what are you talking about?” Josh was seriously lost. Tyler bit his lip and took a deep breath. 

“Josh try and remember before we went on summer break. We were supposed to go to Disneyland…..right?” Tyler was trying to jog the yellow haired boy’s memory. Josh held his hand as he racked his brain for answers. “And we were playing in the tree fort…...remember?” He continued. Suddenly something clicked in Josh’s mind and he snatched his hand away. 

“I don't wanna talk about this.” Josh protested with water welling up in his eyes. 

“What's so important abo-” Dr. Black tried to get more insight. 

“Doctor please just listen and you’ll find out.” Dallon spoke over her in order to get her to pay attention.

“I'm sorry Josh.” Tyler told him. He tried to grab his hand again, but he pulled away.

“I said I don't wanna about it Ty Ty.” Josh whimpered as he ran his hands through his faded yellow hair. He turned away from him. 

“He’s having an episode. I need to get in there.” Jenna rushed for the door only to get stopped by Dallon. “What are you doing? Josh needs my help.” She snapped at him. 

“Tyler really needs to talk to him. And Josh needs to listen. This will be helpful to them both Jenna. Now just sit here and watch.” Dallon told her sternly. The doctor sighed as she turned back towards the mirror. He may have had a point. They both needed assistance with their feelings, not just Josh. 

“Joshie…...it wasn't your fault…..see I had a talk with my dad and-” Tyler started.

“You told your dad about me!? So that's why-” Joshie whipped around in anger. 

“No! No, Joshie I…..I talked to him before that.” Tyler quickly corrected. He slowly moved towards him. “I ask him…..i-if it was okay…...you know, to like you...in that way.” He added as he got closer. 

“But you didn't like me back then….remember?” Joshie sulked as his hair had turned fully brown. He really wanted to crawl in a hole. 

“Actually…..I did…..b-but my dad…he said all this horrible stuff. A-and I was afraid that if he knew I liked you...more than I should've then I would've gotten into trouble….big trouble. So I-” Tyler bit his lip. 

“SO YOU DECIDED TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT!?” Joshie growled as his eyes flashed red. Tyler quickly backed away. “I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU AND YOU SAID I SHOULD BURN IN HELL!” He yelled at him.

Jenna gasped and turned to Dallon. She was speechless. Dallon only nodded towards the room so she could hear the rest of it. 

“I know and I'm sorry that…that was my dad talking not me.” Tyler tried to explain as he continued to back away. “I swear please believe me!” He begged his forgiveness.

Joshie took a deep breath to calm himself down. “You could've just told me the truth….TYLER YOU HURT ME WHEN YOU CALLED ME ALL THOSE HORRIBLE NAMES!” He screamed teary eyed. “And then you just ran away…..I thought you hated ME and you never told me different….friends don't do that Ty Ty…” He walked away, turning his back to him again. 

“I'm sorry Joshie…..I'm so sorry. Please I wish I could take it all back!” Tyler rushed to hold him from behind. “Yell at me, beat me, do whatever…just please don't leave me…..I need you Joshie…I need you more than anything else in the world.” Tyler pleaded as he held him tighter. Joshie began to feel bad because he knew that they were both dependant on each other.

Joshie turned around to hold him in his arms. Tyler was sobbing hard. Joshie began to him a little tune. “Don't you cry, it's gonna be alright. I'll hold you all through the night. I won't let the darkness in. So don't you worry. I will be here in the morning, waiting just for you to start the day.” He sang calmly. Tyler’s sobs started to calm as well. “Remember, you used to sing that little song to me when I had nightmares about Jack.” Joshie smiled at his sad face. 

“Y-you remember that?” Tyler sniffled in surprise. 

“Of course I do. I even still sing it to myself from time to time.” Joshie smirk. They giggled in agreement. Tyler’s face fell again. 

“But they seem to be taking better care of you now. You don't need me anymore.” Tyler said sadly as he slide out of Joshie’s arms again. “Heh and here I thought you’d be a mess without me…….I know I am…..but that's my issue…..maybe I should just go.” He headed towards the door with tears in his eyes. He felt a hand grab his arm. 

“Please don't leave me Ty ty...I love you and I'm always gonna need you.” Joshie gave him the puppy eyes. How could he say no? Tyler pulled him into a bear hug. 

“I'm glad cause I never stopped needing you. I love you so much Joshie. Even back then. ” Tyler stated happily. 

“You have no idea how good it is for me to finally hear you say that to me.” Joshie pulled him into a deep kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, but I'm up.....for you
> 
> *awkward silence*
> 
> Yeah I can totally feel the love
> 
> Goodnight again!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh comes back home. Tyler couldn't be more glad. 
> 
> Yet emotions run wild, and its no longer the happy reunion they hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup my pretty peaches!
> 
> Here with another update for you guys! I know I had kinda left this story for a while and I'm sorry. But I wasn't really inspired and I got really down on myself. But not to worry I'm back again! (^_^)
> 
> And with another sad chapie. So let the tears flow! 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Home sweet home.” Tyler said happily as he opened the door to let Josh inside. He ran in and plopped down on the couch. With all their hard work with treatment and a lot of begging from Tyler. Josh was finally allowed to come back home. On one condition that he continues with his daily sessions with Dr. Black. And she said that she’d hunt Tyler down if he missed even one session. He didn't wanna take the chance. Besides he had his own weekly sessions with Dr. Weekes to worry about as well. 

“I missed this couch. I missed these pillows.” The yellow haired boy danced around the room. Tyler giggled at his silly boyfriend and went to put his things back in the bedroom. “I missed the windows. I missed the Tv. I missed-” Josh stop his rambling when he saw the light blood stain on the floor. He instantly felt bad as he remembered that day. While it was fuzzy, he still knows he put Tyler in the hospital. He slowly kneeled down and placed his hands over the spot. Suddenly everything came flooding back. The voices were as clear as day. 

“NO!” Tyler’s face held such fear.

“J-josh what's wrong with you!?” Tyler begged Josh to listen to reason.

“Josh…...please stop it's over.” Tyler cried to save Josh from his demons. 

Josh started crying. He couldn't accept the fact that he nearly killed the only man he ever loved. What was wrong with him? 

“Josh are you okay?” Tyler put his hand on his shoulder. Josh turned to him with tears streaming down his face. 

“What did I do to you?” Josh whimpered. 

“Aww Josh don't think about bad stuff like that.” Tyler held him tight. “It's all in the past now and we need to move on.” He rubbed small circles on his back. 

“But it's not the past! I'm gonna keep hurting you!” Josh pushed Tyler away. “I-I know will…..and I won't be able to stop myself…..to stop Spooky…” He started crying harder.

“Josh, look we’re gonna get through this. I've been here all these years and I'm not giving up now.” Tyler pulled him back close. “I want you back to the silly fun loving boy I fell in love with when we were young.” He giggled as he tickled his boyfriend. Josh squealed and squirmed out of his grip. 

“Yeah that was a great Killers' song, but I'm talking about us Ty. Everything is changing.” Josh smiled and wiped the stray tears.

“At least you can't say my taste in music changed.” Tyler smiled and kissed Josh’s cheek. Josh’s smile faded again and he walked towards the window.

“Ty…..what if this is permanent? I mean what if I…...WHAT IF THERE IS NO NORMAL TO GO BACK TO!?” Josh turned and peered deep into his eyes. He was desperate for an answer. Any answer. So long as he knew that he wasn't alone in this battle. Tyler held his stare with a blank face. 

“Then that just means I have three boyfriends to love.” Tyler said simply. Josh looked at him confused. 

“Ty this is serious. I don't want your jokes right now.” Josh dismissed his response. He pouted and looked back out the window. “You don't know what it's like to be trapped…..in the past…...you're mind…...everything. It just all seems too hard” He tried to stop the tears. “No matter how much I take my meds or talk about my feelings….IT'S NOT GONNA CHANGE THAT EVERY SECOND OF THE FUCKING DAY I THINK ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO ME! THE HOLD HE HAD OVER ME! THE HOLD HE STILL HAS!” Josh dropped to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably.

Tyler rushed to hold him. “Josh…..I...I didn't-”

“Don't say anything…...please…...please just hold me until it all goes away. C-could you do that for me, Ty?” Josh cried in his hands. 

“Of course. How’s about we take a nap until you feel better.” Tyler said softly. Josh nodded weakly and the brunette pulled him up from the floor. They slowly made their way into the bedroom.

________

It didn't take long for Josh to fall asleep. It had been a few hours since his meltdown. He slept on top of Tyler while he just combined his hair with his fingers. Tyler smiled as Josh snuggled deeper into his chest. He was so happy to get him back in his arms again. Everything was gonna be fine…..well almost fine. He couldn't stop thinking about the yellow haired boy’s words. 

Has Josh really thought about that monster everyday they’ve been together? Tyler was starting to feel like a failure. Like all his hard work was in vain. Like everything was becoming hopeless. Tyler sobbed silently in his hand. He didn't wanna wake up Josh so he tried to keep it down. 

Unfortunately Josh began to stir. “Ty…...w-whats going on?” Josh mumbled as he sat up. Tyler quickly wiped his face. 

“Oh nothing, you got a little upset so I put you done for a nap. I'm sorry if I woke you. ” Tyler replied with a fake smile plastered on his face. “Do you feel any better now?” He caressed his cheek. 

“It's alright I woke up on my own and yeah I do, thanks.” Josh smiled and kissed the inside of Tyler’s hand. “Did you get any rest at all?” He turned around to get a better look at Tyler. 

“Nah I wasn't all that sleepy, but I like holding you while you sleep.” Tyler pulled Josh in for a kiss. “Did you have any dreams?” He hung his arms around his neck. Josh always had wild dreams that scared him. So Tyler took to asking him about it in order to help relieve some of his distress. 

“It was pretty normal Ty, nothing to worry about.” Josh replied as his eyes dropped to the sheets. He didn't used to mind, but after going back to that hospital and having very little privacy. He chose to not tell Tyler. It made him feel like he was still locked away with nothing of his own if he hadn't. 

“You don't have to tell me Josh.” Tyler told him. He lifted his face up with his hands so they could look each other in the eyes. Tyler leaned in and kissed Josh deeply. “You're allowed some secrets.” He smiled brightly at him to show that he understood. 

“Thanks Ty…” Josh was virtually speechless at this point. He was blessed enough to have a man who not only did everything for him, but also understood him inside and out. Like they didn't even need words to communicate. The yellow haired man felt a lump form in his throat from all the intense emotions he was feeling. He then crashed their lips together.

They kissed more passionately as Tyler laid back on the bed. Josh hovered protectively above him. He kissed from behind his ear and down his jaw. The brunette moaned happily under his touch and kisses. Yet something felt off to Josh. He pulled back to see Tyler. But Tyler isn't what he saw. It was his twelve year older self crying. 

Josh couldn't believe his eyes. He touched the boy's face to see if it was all an illusion, but it wasn't he was actually there. 

“Don't touch me you pervert!” The little boy cried as he yanked away from Josh. Josh had never hurt a child so how dare this boy come in and call him otherwise.

“Wait I'm not trying to hurt…..I-I don't even know where you came from.” Josh replied as he tried to calm the boy down. 

“Josh what are you talking about? Are you seeing things again?” Tyler was thoroughly confused. He held his face in his hands to get Josh to listen to him over the visions. 

“Stop you're hurting me you!” The boy slapped at Josh’s face to get him off. Josh didn't take that to well. He growled and pinned him down to the bed. 

“NOW I SAID CALM DOWN YOU LITTLE BRAT!” Josh roared at him. 

“J-josh…...Josh….baby you're hurting me.” Tyler whimpered as he felt the grip on his wrist tighten. It was more of a death grip and Tyler began to panic since Josh couldn't seem to hear him. “JOSH!” He screamed. 

“YOU MONSTER!” The boy screamed at Josh. He had tears pouring from his eyes. 

“THAT'S NOT TRUE!” Josh yelled back. He had never hurt anyone so who was this boy to come and call him out of his name? 

“JOSH!” Tyler screamed again. His heartbeat sped up rather fast. He couldn't help Josh snap out of it. Hell, he couldn't help himself get from under him at the moment. 

“YES IT IS OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE HURTING ME NOW!” The boy challenged. 

“I-I…..I just need you to please calm down…..and we can talk.” Josh tried to reason with him. 

“Please Josh…..sweetie it's NOT REAL!” Tyler cried as he continued to fight against him. 

“NO! YOU ONLY WANT TO CONTROL ME!” The young child struggled harder. 

“I WANT YOU TO CALM DOWN DAMN IT AND TALK TO ME!” Josh yelled right in his face. 

Tyler gasped but he knew it wasn't him he was directing his line of words to. “J-josh…..it's me Tyler remember? BABY SNAP OUT OF IT!” He was trying his hardest to stay calm, but his nerves were already frazzled at this point. 

“NO! YOU'RE HORRIBLE MONSTER! JUST LIKE HIM!” The small boy strongly protested. Those words really struck a chord with Josh. 

“I AM NOTHING LIKE HIM YOU HEAR ME! YOU TAKE IT BACK!” Josh cried hard as he yelled at the boy. Yet he had long stopped listening to him. 

“JOSH STOP IT PLEASE!” Tyler was terrified and didn't know what to do. 

The little boy finally turned to him and laughed. “You're pathetic Josh. No matter what you do, you'll still end up a MONSTER…JUST…LIKE…JACK!”

“YOU LITTLE BASTARD TAKE THAT BACK!” Josh yelled with such force it echoed throughout the house. Before he knew it his anger got the better of him and he backhanded the small child hard across the face. He hear a scream, but it wasn't that of the boy. It was Tyler! “T-ty…..” He gasped when he saw that he had indeed slapped his boyfriend.

Tyler had buried his face in his arm as he cried. “J-josh…..could you please…..y-you're hurting me…” His voice was so weak. Josh realized that he still had him pinned down. He quickly released him, to see that he had left some pretty dark bruises on his pale complexion.

“T-tyler…..I-I’m so sorry….I didn't mean to-” Josh desperately tried to explain, but he had little knowledge of what had just taken place himself. 

Tyler swiftly moved from under him. He was shaking bad. “I-its fine Josh…..I know you didn't mean it. L-let's just get some…some rest okay?” He put on another fake smile, but this time it was obviously a fake with the tears running down his cheeks. One of which was very red and very swollen. 

“Tyler…..please….let's talk about this…we can't keep-” Josh moved closer to try and touch him. 

“THERE’S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE!” Tyler cried out. He didn't mean to sound like such a victim, but that's what he felt like. “Please…just don't touch me right now.” He whimpered out. Josh backed off, but he felt crushed. Tyler had never told him to stay away like that before. 

“Tyler…...why?” Was all Josh could ask. 

“B-beacuse…” Tyler turned his back to him. His shakes still very present. 

“Because why Tyler!? Why won't you let me help you!?” Josh cried. “Why do you let me hurt you so much!?” He looked down at his hands. These hands have been covered in Tyler’s blood more times than he could count. Before it was all Spooky’s fault, but this time Josh had no one to blame but himself. “WHY DO YOU ALLOW ME TO BEAT YOU TYLER !?”

“BECAUSE YOU SCARE ME ALRIGHT!” Tyler turned and yelled back at him. “I-I'm afraid…...of you and what you might do more to me if I fight back…..” Tyler then cried in his hands. He was so ashamed that he never told Josh that. He was terrified of this man that he loved so dearly. He curled in on himself as Josh just watched. What could he do? 

Josh sat there in pure hurt and confusion as he watched his boyfriend cry his eyes out. He was nothing more than an abusive jerk this whole time. 

His younger self was right, he was a monster just like HIM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww poor Tyler needs a hug....and some ice for that cheek. 
> 
> While Josh also needs a hug......and a smack to the face for hurting my smol bean.
> 
> Inner self: but you wrote it this way
> 
> Me:.........shut up! 
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway give mama those comments she love so much! 
> 
> Peace out til the next update!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go to their therapy sessions.
> 
> Josh refuses to speak to Dr. Black 
> 
> While Tyler refuses to be truthful with Dr. Weekes. 
> 
> But neither of the doctors are willing to give up on them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings Grapefruits! 
> 
> I'm here with a new chapie. I'm working on getting all my older fics updated, but I have a few requests for the newer ones so please give me time. I know where all of them are going mostly, but I just have to write it all up. 
> 
> Welp time to jump back in this baby. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Now Josh how was your day yesterday?” Dr. Black asked him with her notepad ready to take notes. 

Josh remained silent as he just stared at his hands. 

“Okay…..let's try this do you remember what happened yesterday?” She rephrase the question. Hoping he would give her any sign that he was listening.

Sadly Josh had already tuned her out. He was internally trying to forget how much he's hurt Tyler. Wondering what he could possibly do to apologize for all he's done. 

“Who is it that I'm speaking with? Is it Joshie? Spooky perhaps? Or is it Josh?” Jenna continued to ask questions even though she knew it was Josh who was currently in control. She learned to tell the difference in their mannerisms. Not to mention the change in their hair colors. 

A few more minutes of silence went by. And Josh still wouldn't even look the doctor’s way. His hands held his attention. They have been covered in scrapes and bruises over the years. From being abused by Jack and his friends to becoming the abuser towards Tyler. His heart hurt so bad knowing that he was slowly turning into the very thing that ruined his life. 

“Josh, I've been talking to you and you blatantly ignored me for our last two sessions now. Won't you please tell me what's bothering you?” Jenna asked nicely hoping by changing tactics would get him to open up.

“All I do is hurt…...just like him…..I'm just like him……” Josh said barely above a whisper. He was too ashamed to speak louder. For once it was said it could never be taken back. He learned that the hard way a long time ago. 

Dr. Black frowned at the statement. She knew Josh would never knowingly harm anyone. He was just confused. His mind playing tricks on him. She then got up and sat beside him. He still wouldn't budge from his spot on the couch. 

“You have been hurt so badly throughout your life. That's something you couldn't control. But you've made it out and you're working on getting better. Now that is in your control. Don't let the circumstances against you turn you into something I know you're not…something Tyler knows you're not.” Jenna said before she held him close. She knew he needed contact when he got like this. And since Tyler was currently busy with his own session he couldn't sit in with him today. 

Josh just cried. How badly he wanted to believe her. But what she didn't know was that Tyler had already condemned him for all the abuse. He was afraid of him and he couldn't take it. Love can't be shared if fear is in the way. 

__________

“So how was your week Tyler? How does it feel to finally have Josh back at home?” Dr. Weekes asked. He was eager to know how the relocation will work for the two. 

“Everything’s perfect doctor. I couldn't be more overjoyed that Josh is home where he belongs.” Tyler answered happily. He was feeling good now that Josh was safe at home with him. 

“That's good to hear. So has he adjusted well to being back at home?” Dallon questioned as he wrote down a few notes.

“Well of course. He always been comfortable at home. We're both just doing perfectly now.” Tyler answered again. A smile plastered on his face like a tattoo. There were no problems he couldn't handle with them. So the less the doctors got in between them the better. 

Dallon hummed as he continued to write. He didn't even make eye contact with Tyler. The brunette was hoping that was a good sign with him. He knew the tall man was very skilled in his ways of manipulation and coercion.

“Well since this week seemed to just fly by without any issues and it was just perfect. I figured I'm free to go.” Tyler suggested as he stood up. “So same time next week?” He asked once he made it to the door. 

Dallon finally looked up at him, a quizative glaze on his face. “If everything is perfect now then why would you need to come back Tyler?” He asked him as he folded his hands in his lap. Tyler knew that tone and he had to stop him from prying into his head again. 

“Well you said that-” Tyler tried to explain.

“I know what said and now I'm asking you. Why would you need my help if everything is perfect now?” Dallon then stood up. His tall stature always seemed to make Tyler feel small. 

“Look I'm just trying to follow the requirements so I can keep Josh and me together doctor.” Tyler said. He gave off a laugh to show it wasn't a big deal, but inside he was nervous as hell. He couldn't let Dallon get too close because every time he did, he was able to see right through him. 

“What if I told you those requirements were now null in void? What then?” Dr. Weekes shrugged and laced his hands behind his back. Eyes intently on Tyler. 

“T-then I guess this would be-”

“You guess? Why do you doubt yourself? Don't you want to stop seeing me? Aren't you happy? No wait aren't you perfectly fine Tyler?” Dallon questioned as he walked closer. Tyler knew this was bad, but his feet were too afraid to move. “Now why would a perfectly fine human being as you put it want to see a therapist? It could be one of two things. One being you starve attention, which I highly doubt seeing how you hate when I turn all my attention to you.” He walked closer. “Or is it two, you want to see me because you in fact need to see me, but you don't want to admit it. So you use the excuse of Josh as a reason to keep coming back here every week.” Dallon had once again cornered Tyler.

The brunette knew he had to leave before this turned bad. He couldn't keep exposing his emotional side to him. No matter how good he was. “I-I need to go now doctor so-” He tried to reach for the door knob. Only to have Dr. Weekes put his hand on the door, preventing him from leaving.

“So my hand is now stopping you from leaving. I've done that because I know we still have much to discuss. Now if you truly feel that you are fine and your healing is done. Then kindly remove my hand so you can leave, but if you do there is no coming back here Tyler. I'm a busy man and I haven't the time to deal with difficult patients such as yourself.” Dallon challenged him. Those blue eyes burned holes into Tyler’s brown ones. 

“B-but what about Josh? Y-you won't take him away if I leave will you?” Tyler asked again. He had to be sure that he was telling him the truth. 

“Again with the excuses. Here I'll make the decision easier for you.” Dallon then stepped aside and opened the door to his office. “There.Your way out. The one thing you've wanted since we began. I won't stop you and I can't make you stay. All I can do is say that if you say goodbye now, then it's goodbye forever Tyler.” He calmly turned his back on him and walked back to his desk. 

Tyler wanted so badly to leave, but there was still something inside telling him to stay. He bite his lip while he tried to figure out what to do. 

“I see the choice isn't as easy now that I've cut the strings is it Tyler?” Dallon leaned against his desk. “You like the fight, the resistance. But you don't like it when people give up on you. Wash their hands of your little “rebellion” because it makes you feel insignificant. Like they don't care about you. And that just tears you up inside not to be loved doesn't it?” He kept asking him questions even though he knew the answers. He just needed Tyler to finally see the answers as well. 

“I have Josh and that's all I need in this world…” Tyler replied. He gave the doctor a strong glare. He hated how smug he was when he talked to him. 

“But if that were true you would've been out of here once I said I no longer hold Josh as leverage to keep you here. You wouldn't be standing there listening to my every word. And you certainly wouldn't be shaking the way you are now.” Dallon informed him. Tyler looked down to see his fists were clenched and indeed shaking. He was afraid that no one loved him. He always had. Deep down he felt Josh only stayed with him out of need and not love, so he's been desperately trying to always be needed by the yellowed haired boy in order to keep him around. 

“I…..I-I'm afraid…...I told him that I was afraid of him after he…h-he had an episode and…...h-he hit me…” Tyler could feel the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. He hated feeling weak. He hated even more to open up to Dallon and let him know that he was weak. 

The doctor was already behind him closing the door. Tyler didn't even notice that the tall man had already walked towards him while his head was down. 

“Like I said we have much to discuss Tyler, come sit back down.” Dallon spoke as he lead him back to the couch. There was no smugness in his voice this time. Only a simple statement to show that they can continue their session. 

Once they sat down Dallon handed Tyler a box of Kleenexes. “For the record, I do care about you and that's why I'm so hard on you. I know you need my help, but I can't do anything unless you want me to help you. Tyler you need to be willing to open up to me if you ever hope to conquer these feelings of self loathing and abandonment. All of the attention has always been on Josh and no one stopped to ever ask how you've felt over the years. For that I'm sorry.” Dr. Weekes explained to him. 

Tyler merely nodded as he tried to stop the tears. He was always so stressed, but never able to break down because he knew Josh needed him more than he needed to let go. 

“You've always had to be the strong one. The provider, the lover, the protector…..but who was there to do all of that for you? No one. And that is why you're here, is it not?” Dallon continued to question. Those deep blue eyes always seemed to know so much about Tyler without him even saying a word. 

Tyler blew his nose and slowly nodded his head in agreement again. Words were escaping him as everything just seemed all too much. He carried Josh and his world solely on his shoulders and he was afraid because he noticed that he was beginning to cave under the pressure.

The next thing he knew, the tears came flowing again. It was like a flood and he couldn't stop it. Dallon moved closer and allowed him to cry on his shoulder. All while giving him words of encouragement to assure him that he will help him until he was better. 

That's when Tyler remembered Josh’s words from before. And what if his condition was permanent? Did that mean that he too would suffer permanently?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah now they both seem broken.... 
> 
> Now I'm sad because I wanna fix them, but not sure how..... 
> 
> Inner me: dude you're the writer, if you wanna help then stop making everything so damn sad all the time! 
> 
> *thinks*....well......nah sad is best for me hehehe
> 
> Comments and Kudos
> 
> Catch ya tomorrow, peace out

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.....at least it's a Joshler fic am I right?
> 
>  
> 
> No it's alright I'll show myself out.
> 
>  
> 
> Comments are needed before next chapter please (even if its just to yell at me) lol thanks in advance!


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